Sunday, December 7, 2014

"I Hate Buffets" free dramedy monologue - free solo stage play script

From the published play "When Mel Fell for Nell" by D. M. Larson ISBN-13: 978-1512007183

Please ask permission first please (contact and include the title " I Hate Buffets" in your request).

"I Hate Buffets" by D. M. Larson

I hate buffets... Not for the obvious like germs..., get your fingers out of there!  Yes I know I'm not your momma.... Just do it... That's gross... Don't you dare...  lick your fingers 

Gross... Okay maybe it's the germs too...

But here is my main problem
All you can eat is way too much for me... It's too much for everyone.

Why do we need so many choices?  I hate all these choices. And I always feel like I make the wrong ones.

I eat something and sits like a lump in my stomach... I try another... Two lumps.  Another... It's all terrible... Buffets don't give you more... Just a lot of bad choices... I just want to find one place... A great place with something really good. One really good thing I can count on to always be good for me.. So yummy I will just eat it over and over again... That one wonderful thing that settles inside me...

(Burps or almost throws up...) Not this...  This torture... Eating and eating bits of everything... Tearing me up inside... It's gonna rip me apart.



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1 comment:

  1. I Hate Buffets
    At least, most of them. Although I really haven't tried all that many because I don't prefer to graze-eat. I have been fortunate to have tried one or two buffet-type restaurants that are more high-end; this generally means better quality food and better selection.
    I like the fact that the person freely speaks their mind. I am prone to do the same...If someone wants to know what I think, just ask me.
    I can relate to this person in that this person reminds me of a close friend.I can also relate to this person after having had basically the same experience. How anyone can handle a food object, inspect it, and then return it to the serving dish is beyond me.
    It is obvious to me that this person suffers from self-esteem issues. But how can you be "wrong" by simply making a food choice? How will you know if you will enjoy a food product if you never tried it? I do NOT relate to this person in this capacity. I have to ask...if this person hates buffets so much, why are they there?