Friday, January 30, 2015

Call Me Dumper - female version - comedy monologue for women, teens - solo stage play script

(female version)
By D. M. Larson

They call me Dumper. I got the nickname when I was a youngin'... I was watching that Bambi movie. Every time I would see Thumper I would get so excited I would take a dump in my pants. I loved that rabbit for some reason. He just made me so happy. So happy I'd mess myself. We all need something like that in our lives. Something that makes us so happy we lose control. When ma finally got me potty trained, she didn't let me watch it anymore.  So I had to find other things to make me happy. Not much did after that. No dolly or sweetie made me that excited.  No boy could either.  When I got old enough to like boys that is.  They ain't worth nothing around here. 

Boys here never could make me happy and I didn't want to make them happy the way they wanted me to.

I tried dating them some but it never works out. There ain't plenty more fish in this sea. These is shallow waters and there are pretty slim pickins.  Seems like half of them are my cousins and I am not the kissing cousin type.  And the ones left over after that are the catch and release kind. Because when you get one, you quickly want to throw them back.

So when I started breaking up with guys my nickname came back to haunt me. All the boys started calling me Dumper again. 

That's the problem with a small town... things stick around from your childhood. You get a reputation and you get stuck with it. Everyone sees you one way and there's no way out. I could become the smartiest, prettiest girl in town and everyone would still call me Dumper. I could go off and feed African kids and cure Ebola and win the Nobel peace prize and come home and they'd still call me Dumper.

Why? Because it's easier I guess. Easier to keep you in your place. That way no one gets out of hand or too important. Know your place and play your part.


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