Saturday, May 2, 2015

"Sloth Puzzles" comedy monologue by Clint Snyder - solo stage play script

Another monologue by guest blogger Clint Snyder:

Sloth Puzzles
Talks to an agent about a recent experience in New York.

     So for my birthday this year my parents took me to New York City.  See, it has always been my dream to have my own reality TV show.  The idea for my show is that the cameras will follow me around for several hours while I do puzzles of really cute animals like a panda bear or sloths.  I was gunna do that, or just have one of those really trashy television shows that always ends in a girl crying over a toilet cutting her hair and throwing up.  That would be nice.  When we got there though, it was a lot different than I thought it would be.  My parents took me to the t.v. studio and I explained my idea to the secretary, but she just laughed at me.  I thought she was laughing because she liked the idea, but then when I kept explaining that the second episode would focus on me doing a koala puzzle, she laughed harder and called over the security man.  He was not very nice, I can tell you that right now.  He shocked me with a taser and the next thing I knew I was outside the studio with my family.  I wanted a pair of movie star sunglasses to help get over the trauma, but we couldn’t find the store.  We found a homeless man named “Bulldog” and he told us that he would show us the way to the sunglasses store, but instead he just stole my dad’s wallet.  We ended up having to sell our car to the mafia for plane tickets to get home because we had no money, but I don’t actually regret the trip.  My new plan is to use my mafia connections to get my own mafia reality show.  Think I’ve got a shot? 


Copyright © 2015 Clint Snyder

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