Celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day this September 19 with a funny monologue for a male or female. This monologue is adapted from the short film below that we did as part of the 48 hour film festival. If you enjoy the monologue and short film, let me know and I might create a full script as well.
For permission to use this monologue, contact firstname.lastname@example.org (please include the title "Yar!" in the request).
"YAR!" by D. M. Larson
Avast there matey. It be Talk like a Pirate Day. Hand over those donuts. Donuts are always free on Talk like a Pirate Day.
I be looking for the perfect donut. It has to be the perfect length… twice as big as me mouth.
Once I found the donut of me dreams and I have been on an endless search for one to match it's perfection. Let me tell ye a tale of the most delicious of donuts... but be warned… it's not for the faint of heart.
(PIRATE KELLY gets a dreamy look in his eye as he remembers eating the perfect donut)
Once was a donut ever so sweet
That its taste could never be beat
It was as heavenly as can be
Like it was made just for me
Better than a bottle of rum
After a few bites I felt undone
But it slipped from me grip
And that donut took a dip
Like a sinking ship lost at sea
Now food for fishes, bad for me
(The memory of losing the donut gets him crying. Then he looks around and realizes the person with the donuts is gone)
Where’d she go? You can’t get rid of me that easy. I must have ye donuts!
(PIRATE KELLY runs off stage and after a moment he runs across again)
For more free monologues, go to http://www.freedrama.net/small1.html