"HUMPTY DUMPTY PRIVATE EGG HARD BOILED DETECTIVE"
(One Minute Version of Monologue)
by D. M. Larson
I could continue walking on eggshells around her like everyone else or I could put all my eggs in one basket and say it straight. I knew she was trouble and I told her so. I told her she was like one of those riddles that scramble your brains like, "what came first, the chicken or the egg?"
I told her to beat it unless she wanted to have a talk with all the King's horses and all the King's men.
But then her eyes teared up and I was speechless because I'd never seen this cool egg crack before. Hey, I've got feelings. I'm a bit soft-boiled around the dames. And this dame needed help. And help is what I do, because I'm
Humpty Dumpty, Private Egg. Hard-boiled detective.
END OF MONOLOGUE
This monologue is from the published play "Holka Polka"