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Saturday, December 26, 2015
Touched by an Alien - Funny Sci Fi Comedy Skit for 5 or more actors
TOUCHED BY AN ALIEN by D. M. Larson
from the published play "Between Good and Evil"
*The play is free to use in the classroom or
workshop. To perform the play, you must request permission from
firstname.lastname@example.org (please include the title "Touched by an Alien" in
EXT. STRANGE PLANET. DAY.
CAST: 4 space explorers and 1+ aliens (any gender) with possible extras by adding more aliens and space explorers
(A couple of space explorers, Captain and Commander, are
sitting relaxed among the rocks looking at their electronic devices taking and
recording readings. A couple of other space explorers, Cadet and Grunt,
run past behind them yelling/screaming being chased by strange aliens. Captain
and Commander look at each other and shrug. Aliens run back across with
Grunt and Cadet chasing them)
Care for some tea, Commander?
Why yes, Captain. That would be lovely.
(Captain pours Commander some tea. Alien runs by and
knocks it from the Captain's hand and leaves. Cadet and Grunt chase alien)
I vote for sub-intelligent life forms.
Noted. They do appear to be quite savage.
(Grunt and Cadet bring in one of the aliens they've captured)
Yee-haw! We got one!
On your knees, maggot!
(Grunt forces alien on to its knees in front of the Commander
and Captain. Commander waves a device in front of it)
Scanning... imaging... OH!
What is it?
Special alert from the Inter-galactic shopping network.
That new phase scanner is 50% off this week.
(Explorers gather around Commander. Alien sneaks off
Buy it! Buy it!
I love this new app. Makes purchasing so much
easier. The deals I'm finding are amazing.
Uh... which one of you was watching the alien?
(Cadet and Grunt look at each other. Grunt punches Cadet)
I'm an officer. You're supposed to listen to me.
You're like 12. How did you get in officer training?
I was on this colony ship and impressed one of the Space
Explorers with my incredible intelligence.
And it doesn't hurt that your father is an Admiral.
Think we can get those aliens to sign the Galaxy
I have ways of making that happen.
Promise me you won't chop off one of their hands again.
That was so gross.
Worked didn't it? Hand print signature was a sure thing
But you got alien goo all over the WeePad. It still
doesn't work right.
Fine. Do it the hard way.
(Cadet and Grunt drag in an alien - can be the same or
Hello, good alien. Please sit.
(Grunt forces alien down)
Care for some tea?
This is going to take forever.
Want me to do the hand thing?
(Grunt pulls out a huge knife and holds up alien's hand)
The captain here doesn't like that.
That's against our Galactic Confederation Code!
(Grunt laughs and puts knife away)
We're a long way from the GCC, Cadet.
(Cadet points proudly to a badge on uniform)
Where-ever you see this badge, the GCC is the law and I
(Grunt grabs the badge off Cadet's uniform and tosses it away
as far as possible)
(Cadet goes after it)
So, my friend. What kind of tea do you like? I
can generate any number of flavors.
Make it extra hot.
Listen to the Captain.
I'm so transferring after this mission.
So savage. I know none of this means anything to you
but I simply need your handprint. It says you agree to the GCC and your
planet and all the resources here will belong to us. In return, we give
you this shiny new GCC badge! Each one is uniquely engraved with an
unduplicated number and a holographic image of our supreme leader.
(Captain holds out badge to alien)
(Alien slowly takes and looks at it)
(Alien throws it at Captain)
My eye! It hit me in the eye!
(Grunt is laughing. Commander grabs the alien's hand and
sticks its hand print on to the WeePad)
Done. Let it go.
(Grunt let's go of alien but it doesn't run. Alien goes
up to Captain who is still crumbled over. It touches the Captain's
wound. Captain flinches. The alien spits on it's own hand and then
touches the hand to the Captain's eye)
Hey! Oh... that feels good.
(Alien pulls away and Captain's eye is okay. Captain
looks in amazement)
(Alien walks away)
That was different.
I think your eye is a slightly different color now.
I can see better too.
This requires further study.
We'll report to the GCC and get authorized for a return
To the shuttle?
To the shuttle.
Totally asking for a transfer. I didn't get to kill
(They exit and a rocket blast is heard. After a few
moments Cadet returns)