"The Storm" is Shakespeare for Kids - modern retelling of Shakespeare’s the Tempest for 21st century children

I decided to play around with the idea of retelling some of Shakepeare's plays in modern language that young people can understand.  I rewrote some monologues from Romero and Juliet and now I'm playing with the idea of adapting "The Tempest" into a kid friendly play called...

"THE STORM" 

by D. M. Larson

(A modern retelling of Shakespeare’s the Tempest for 21st century kids)

SCENE I. 

(On a ship - thunder and lightning heard)

CAPTAIN

Dwain!

DWAIN

Ay ay  captain? 

(Dwain is right behind the Captain who doesn't see him)

CAPTAIN

Dwain!

DWAIN

Captain!

(Dwain shouts and scares Captain)

CAPTAIN

Don't do that!

DWAIN

What's up, Captain?

CAPTAIN

The storm!

DWAIN

Is there one coming?

(Loud Thunder and lighting - lights flash)

CAPTAIN

Perhaps - call the crew - batten down the hatches - hoist the sail -swab the deck! There she blows!

DWAIN

Are you panicking Captain?

CAPTAIN

Perhaps.

DWAIN

I’ll have the crew prepare for the storm.

CAPTAIN

Thank you. Make it so.

DWAIN

Of course. All hands on deck!  All hands on deck!

(Ship’s crew members, AL, ANT and GONZO rush on to stage.  Wind blows them off again.  They try to get back in again)

DWAIN

There’s a storm coming.

AL

I think it’s already here.

(The crew is blown off stage again.  They struggle back on)

ANT

Where’s the captain?

DWAIN

Below.

AL

Where we should be.

DWAIN

After we batten down the hatches and secure the sail and…

(Crew is blown off again)

DWAIN

Maybe we better go below.

(DWAIN leaves)

GONZO

Do not run!  We have to secure the sail and save the ship from this storm.

AL

Oh do be quiet. And get below!

GONZO

Will no one help me?  Must I do this myself?

(Lighting and thunder)

ANT

Yes, do it yourself.  Out of my way!

(They try to exit but the storm pushes them around off and on the stage)

GONZO

I will face you alone then, Storm.  You will not end us this day. I swear it. I will stand firm and keep this ship afloat despite your might roar.  You might strike fear into these others, but not me. I will not give in and let you drown me.  I will not let you sink this ship. I challenge you to try and show us all your might for you will be ashamed at what you have done in the face of such bravery.

AL

I don’t know if I’d call that bravery.

ANT

Don’t taunt the storm like that.  You’ll just make it madder and us deader.

AL

We really don’t want to die.

ANT

You’re just making it madder.

AL

Maybe if we talk nice to the storm.

ANT

You’re a very beautiful storm.

(Storm calms a bit)

AL

Such lovely colors.

ANT

Have you ever seen such a nice storm?

AL

A perfect storm.

GONZO

A perfectly terrible storm. One that we will defeat!   Man over nature!

(Lighting and thunder is louder than ever)

ANT

You had to go and upset her again.

AL

And after all those nice things we said too.

ANT

All is lost.

AL

We’re doomed.

ANT

Goodbye Mother!

AL

Goodbye Father!

ANT

Goodbye to my brother.

AL

Goodbye to my sister.

ANT

Goodbye to my dog.

AL

Goodbye to my cat.

ANT

Goodbye to my pillow.  I love my pillow - it's so soft - it's so hard to find the perfect pillow - now all is lost.

(Thunder and Lightning and ANT and AL are blown away)

GONZO

I would give a million oceans for a single piece of dry land. I am sick of being on this ship. I never wanted to die at sea. 

END OF SCENE 1

***

If you enjoyed this scene, post below saying which of Shakespeare's plays you'd love seeing adapted in a similar way or email doug@freedrama.net with your suggestions.

Borders and Immigration an older play that is a new topic again

I wrote the play "Borders" many years ago, back in the early 90s, when immigration and border crossings from Mexico were a big issue.  There was a news story about a rancher who was killing the illegal border crossers and only got a fine from a Texas judge rather than being arrested for murder.

Immigration is a big issue again so this play continues to have relevance.  It's a good one for a current events discussion.

Check out "Borders" by D. M. Larson - http://freedrama.net/borders.html

Here is another version called "Hippies, Housewives and Watering Holes" - ironically it seems to make a good comedy, but the 2016 Presidential election is a big of a comedy so that makes sense - http://freedrama.net/hhwh.html

Readers Theater Scripts for 3 Actors

"Grace" Short drama of an angel who has fallen in love with a mortal. 2w 1m  


"Monster Survival Skills During A Gremlin Outbreak" - Short comedy stage play script for 3 or more actors


"Fart-Zen" - very short comedy for three or more actors (any gender) 


"Rock, Sword, Firecracker!" Short comedy about the legend behind the game of Rock, Scissors, Paper. 3+ actors (any gender) 


"Hipster Hobos" Short sketch comedy skit about when being too cool is too annoying. Flexible cast 1+ m 1+ w (3-6+ total). 


"Metropolis Man" Short romantic comedy play for 2 m 1 f about finding a super man and falling in love



"The Waiting Room" A serious dramatic scene for three actors any gender but written for 3 men from the published play "Death of an Insurance Salesman" 


"Romance on the Rocks" - Short dark comedy stage play script for 3 actors (1 male 2 female)

"Hey Baby Let's Polka" comedy scene for 2 actors

This scene is from a play called "A Little Private Education" about a teacher, Luke, trying to start a private school but the people helping him are turning it into a disaster.  In this scene, Luke and Peg (brother and sister) have been left alone after both being dumped by people they were thinking about dating.
















"Hey Baby Let's Polka"

by D. M. Larson




LUKE

(Come out looking like a total goof ball)  

Hey, baby.  Let's polka.

(Does a silly polka dance)




PEG

Uh, Luke.  

(Grabs him) 

Luke.




LUKE

What?




PEG

She's gone.  




LUKE

Where'd she go?




PEG

Did she see you and run?




LUKE

I don't think so.




PEG

I know I would have.  Look at you.  

(Laughs)




LUKE

Wait.  Where's Paul?




PEG

Huh?  Oh.  

(Calls out)  

Paul?  Paul?!   I’ll check the john.

(Heads for bathroom)




LUKE

Hey, here’s a note from him.




PEG:  

(Grabs it)  

Let me see that.   

(Reads) 

 "Peg.  Had to go.  Something came up.  Paul."  

(Sigh)
"Something came up." That's something you never want to hear a plumber say.


LUKE

Oh, Peg.  I'm sorry.  Now I've ruined your evening too.




PEG

You know.  I think it's for the best.   All he talked about over dinner was plumbing.  It's hard to eat when you're getting a blow by blow description of unclogging a toilet.




LUKE

Ew.




PEG

And no more Mrs. Poke.  I wonder what she'll do with your school.




LUKE

I'll give you one guess.  I guess I better start packing.




PEG

You think she'll cut you off?




LUKE

I know she will.  

(Upset)  

…and my book deal.  So much for getting my novel published.




PEG

You don't like handouts anyway.




LUKE

I don't?




PEG

No, you don't.




LUKE

Good-bye Peter Poke Academy.  Hello Peter Poke Plumbing.




PEG

Ah, to be rich enough to buy any man you want.




LUKE

You'll never be rich without a job.




PEG

Didn't you know?  I'm going to win the lottery.




LUKE

I'm glad to see you have a realistic goal for your life.




PEG

Hey, I thought you weren't going to tease me any more.




LUKE

Sorry.




PEG

I'll bet you are.




LUKE

It slipped out.




PEG

I better go before anything else slips out like my fist into your face.

  (Pretends like she’s going to hit his face and hits him in the arm)




LUKE

How come you can always hit me and I can never hit you?




PEG

Because I'm girl.  Boys don't hit girls.  




LUKE

But girls can hit boys?




PEG

Isn't it great?




LUKE

For you maybe.   That’s gonna bruise.




PEG

I guess I better get going home.




LUKE

See you in the unemployment line.




END OF PLAY

"The Perfect Redneck" comedy scene for 2 actors (1 male 1 female)

"Operation Redneck" is the story of three friends (Julie, Beth and Tina) who are roommates. Julie is dating a city boy named Jacob and he wants to visit her in the small town she lives in.  She is worried about him fitting in and Beth want to help Jacob by turning him into the ultimate redneck like Tina's boyfriend JJ.  

"THE PERFECT REDNECK"

by D. M. Larson

(from "Operation Redneck")

BETH: Now the real planning begins. Operation Redneck is close at hand. I'm going to make Jacob into the ultimate redneck so he fits in here. Julie won't even recognize him when we're done with him.

(Searches) We need lots of paper and pens. I want to write down some tips on how to be a redneck so Jacob can look at it whenever he needs to. I'm terrible at this kind of stuff though. I always need something to get ideas from. What I need is a redneck.

JJ: (Enters. Excited) Ooo-weee. I didn't know you had a bug zapper. Man, those things are so cool. (Imitates one) I could watch those suckers for hours. (Goes to sofa and turns on TV) Boy, howdy. The Rodeo Network. When did you get that?

BETH: Ask and ye shall receive. JJ put the red in neck.

JJ: Aw, man. My ma can ride a bull better than that.

BETH: I've gotta write this stuff down. The question is - do we really want Jacob to act like this? Do we really want two JJ’s in the world?

JJ: What you gabbin' about over there?

BETH: I was just sayin' how suave and debonair you are?

JJ: (Confused) What's that supposed to mean?

  

BETH: JJ will be perfect. I'll give him a quiz from one of our magazines about finding the perfect man. (Picks up a magazine) If we can get Jacob to act even a little bit like JJ, then I'm sure people around here will think he's okay. But not too much like JJ.Nobody should be too much like JJ.

He's a one of a kind.

God destroyed the mold after JJ was made.

Hey, JJ. You wanna win some money?

JJ: Duh... Who wouldn't?

BETH: There's this contest in Rodeo Gal magazine.... See, it's a contest to find the perfect man. You think you are the perfect man?

JJ: You bet. I'll win for sure. 

BETH: But you got to answer a few questions.

JJ: Naw, I don't wanna answer a bunch a sissy questions. That's stupid. Can't you just take a picture of my awesomeness. (Does a goofy mock sexy pose) See?

BETH: Oh, yeah. That will impress the judges.

JJ: They can see I'z the perfect guy just by looking at me. Like they say a picture is worth a dozen words.

BETH: In your case, I believe that's true. (Looks at magazine) But I'm afraid the rules specifically say, no pictures.

JJ: Well, then they can spificly kiss my butt.

  

BETH: First prize is a million dollars.

JJ: Well, maybe I could answer a few questions.

BETH: Let's see! First question... (Thinks of something) What's the most romantic thing you've ever done for your girlfriend?

JJ: Romantic? Uh... probably that time I spray painted her name on the General Lee Street Overpass..

BETH: Too bad he spelled her name wrong.

I mean who spells Tina with an E instead of an A.

JJ: Can we get on with this? I got things to do.

BETH: Have you ever invested anything for your future such as in the stock market?

JJ: The stock market? Yeah, I might buy us a cow or two.

BETH: Are you the kind of person who would own a personalized license plate?

JJ: Any plate I get here is personalized to me.

BETH: Why's that?

JJ: Cause my daddy's one of them guys who makes them.

BETH: Isn't your dad in prison?

JJ: Yup.

BETH: Do you own a three piece suit?

JJ: Got one on right now. Overalls, flannel shirt, and underwear.  And only sometimes on the underwear. (JJ laughs)

BETH: That's more than I wanted to know, JJ. Who is your favorite Uncle?

JJ: My brother.

BETH: What do you do when you're in trouble and need to find a way out?

JJ: I think, "What would Homer Simpson do?"

BETH: What is your favorite Olympic sport?

JJ: Mud wrestling.

BETH: That's not an Olympic sport.

JJ: Well, it should be.

BETH: Next question. What do you think of gun control?

JJ: Gun control is a steady hand.

BETH: Do you know how to use the internet?

JJ: The internet? That some kind of new fishing tool?

BETH: If you could pick the eighth wonder of the world, what would you chose?

JJ: The world’s biggest ball of twine.

BETH: Which family member do you want to be like when you get older?

JJ: My mama.

BETH: Really?

JJ: Yeah. You know how many tattoos she's got?

BETH: No, and I don't want to know.

JJ: (Stands and shows BETH. Has back to audience) This one is my favorite. Mama's got the same one.

It was expensive. I'm still paying this baby off.

BETH: Who do you admire most?

JJ: Jack Daniels. 

BETH: What do you want to name your children?

JJ: Jack and Daniel.

BETH: You have a one track mind.

JJ: I sure am getting thirsty.  I wonder if there is a bottle around here somewhere.

(JJ looks around) 

BETH: Maybe I should call someone else. No one could pretend to be this dumb.

  

JJ: We done with all them questions yet?

BETH: I don’t know… I think you’re off the chart.

JJ: Give me a real hard one. 

BETH: Fine. What is your opinion on the Roe vs. Wade decision?

JJ: (Thinks) Now I've heard people talk about that a lot and that's something I've thought lots about too. But I think I've finally settled one side of that issue. I much prefer to row across a river than wade. (BETH throws her notes in the air)What? The river's way too cold to wade across.

BETH: This is totally hopeless. 

END OF SCENE

Buy a low cost PDF of the entire play "Operation Redneck" at https://sellfy.com/p/e4LY/

"Living in the Car" short romantic comedy for 2 actors (1 male 1 female)

“LIVING IN THE CAR” by D. M. Larson

Short romantic comedy for 2 actors (1 male 1 female)

(DONNA and SHANE are going through their mail)

DONNA - Bill, Bill... 

SHANE - Credit card offer!

DONNA - And someone wanting money....

SHANE - How much will you give them? 

DONNA - What makes you think I will give them anything?

SHANE - Look how sad they are?

DONNA - Fine - I will give them some money - I'd rather give the homeless and hungry people money then pay those big corporations - I hate being a slave to bills - paycheck comes and the bills all gather anxiously for handouts - suits pounding at my door - demanding handouts - I feel like I work for them instead of us.

SHANE - What if we stopped paying them?

DONNA - Why would we do that?

SHANE - What would happen? 

DONNA - They shut off the power, the water - then they take the house. 

SHANE - Okay.

DONNA - Then they take the cars.

SHANE - They can have your car - I'm keeping mine - I like it.

DONNA - Okay, so we live in your car.

SHANE - It's a nice car - that wouldn't be so bad would it - we could cuddle in the back seat at night - and steam up the windows.

DONNA - That sounds nice. 

SHANE - So throw away the bills.

(SHANE takes the bills and tosses them. DONNA laughs)

DONNA - Hey!

SHANE - But you can still give to this charity - they could end up being our neighbors when we lose our home and I want to be a good neighbor.

DONNA - You make life so much simpler.

SHANE - I'm awesome like that - tell me more things you like about me.

DONNA - Let’s go try out the back seat of your car and I'll show you what I like.

SHANE - Oh my goonie gracious.

END OF PLAY