Beauty IS a Beast by D. M. Larson
PART 8 - SCENE - More Visitors to Nick's Humble Home
(JANIE and PRINCESS exit out back L. There is a knock R)
NICK: (Answers door)
SCRIBE: I am the royal scribe. We are offering a reward for anyone who knows where Princess Beauty is. 100 pieces of gold.
NICK: 100 pieces? That's a fortune!
SCRIBE: So if you see her,
NICK: I will let you know.
SCRIBE: Good day.
NICK: Uh, wait a minute. How do I know if it's her?
SCRIBE: She's the most beautiful woman in the kingdom. You can't miss her.
NICK: But what if something happened? What if she got dirty or messed up somehow? How could you tell it was she?
SCRIBE: That's a good question. Let me see, Oh, I know. She has a birthmark on her foot. You can't miss it when she takes off her shoes, which she rarely does. It's the one imperfection in her perfect beauty.
NICK: Thank you. I'll let you know.
SCRIBE: Good day, then.
NICK: (Puts two and two together)
(There's another knock at the door)
Who could that be?
JILL: Hi, Nick.
NICK: Oh, hi, Jill.
JILL: Aren't you happy to see me?
JILL: I decided to forgive you for insulting me today.
NICK: You have, huh?
JILL: Yes, you were such a brute to me, but I can't help myself. I still like you.
NICK: Lucky me.
JILL: So do you still want to go to the dance with me?
NICK: I already told you!
JILL: It won't cost us anything. I hear Princess Honor is paying for everything.
NICK: Princess Honor?
JILL: It's her wedding ball. Everyone is invited. And it's free!
NICK: I heard it was canceled.
NICK: Princess Honor refuses to get married until Beauty is found.
JILL: Leave it to Beauty to ruin my plans. I hope they never find her.
NICK: That's a terrible thing to say.
JILL: She's so mean and awful. The only good thing about her is
NICK: I'm sure she's a good, honest person like the rest of us.
JILL: I doubt it.
NICK: So I guess we don't have to worry about the dance now.
JILL: I guess not. Do you want to go for a walk instead?
NICK: No, thanks.
JILL: Why not?
NICK: I have company.
JILL: You always have company.
NICK: Guess you'll be going then?
JILL: What's his name?
NICK: Whose name?
JILL: Your guest?
NICK: You mean, her name?
JILL: It's a "her?"
NICK: Actually, she says she's Princess Beauty but she looks nothing like her.
JILL: So do you like her?
NICK: I just met her.
JILL: But do you like her?
NICK: There's something about her, something special.
JILL: I can see I'm not wanted. I better go.
NICK: Please don't be mad, Jill.
JILL: But I thought you liked me?
NICK: I do, as, a friend.
JILL: But I'm so beautiful. How could you not like me?
NICK: There are more important things than beauty?
JILL: Fine, then. Good-bye, forever.
(She runs out)
NICK: I'd be worried about her but she said the same thing to me last week.
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