Thursday, September 1, 2016

Pants on Fire Part 1 free short play script for 2 or more actors

PANTS ON FIRE PART 1
A short play
By D. M. Larson


(There are two main actors, a student named TONY and a professor named CLUMP.  More students in the scene would add to the atmosphere)


CLUMP
Welcome to the our advanced leadership course. Armed with carefully crafted lies you can become the ultimate politician, a master lawyer or the salesman of the year. You all enter now with the rank of little white liar but under my tutelage I will guide you to be a master liar with your Pants on Fire. To achieve the rank of Pants on Fire you must dedicate yourself to this course above all other courses. You must commit yourself to being to the best deceiver of anyone you know. You need to be willing to indulge in lies even when it is totally unnecessary. Lying is an art. And being a true liar is a way of life.


(TONY looks confused and gets up to leave the class)


My experience in fabrication comes from practicing law as both an attorney and judge. I have also consulted on numerous political campaigns...


(CLUMP notices TONY leaving)


CLUMP
Is there a problem?


TONY
I think I am in the wrong class. I signed up for Ethics.


CLUMP
Fate has brought you to us. Besides your ethics class was canceled.


TONY
What? Are you sure?


CLUMP
Positive.


TONY
I checked on it this morning. The class is full. Why would they cancel? Wait… you're lying aren’t you?


CLUMP
Why waste your time with ethics? Ethics will only hinder you and slow you down in life, but lies will set you free.


TONY
I thought lying was bad.


(CLUMP laughs and students join him. Everyone laughs except Tony)


CLUMP
You’ll get nowhere with an attitude like that.


TONY
Nowhere is better than where you’re going.


(Tony laughs but no one laughs with him)


CLUMP
Let’s give you a test. Would you vote for an honest person who says things you don’t believe in or a dishonest person who agrees with you? And say the honest person succeeds in doing the thing you disagree with but the dishonest person fails. You end up worse off because you supported the honest person. The smart politician lies and tells you what you want. They may even “try” to get you what you want. You have a better chance of getting what you want with the dishonest politician. So why bother with the honest one?


TONY
You’re really twisting this around. Oh what a tangled web you weave.


CLUMP
And is the honest person really honest?  Or just a better liar? Everyone is hiding something. The honest person appears “clean” because they are better liars.


TONY
The political system is so corrupt. There’s no such thing as an honest politician anymore.


CLUMP
We can apply this to business too.


TONY
Please don’t.


CLUMP
To law.


TONY
No surprise there.


CLUMP
Lawyers create truth to help others, to defend, to free. The lie must be so convincing that you believe it yourself in order to be a success.


TONY
Everything is corrupt; it’s all a lie.

GO TO PART 2

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For permission to use this play contact doug@freedrama.net (please include the title "Pants on Fire" in your request")





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Find more plays for 2 actors (duologues) at http://www.freedrama.net/small2.html

Pants on Fire Part 2 free skit for 2 or more actors

PANTS ON FIRE PART 2
Short play by D. M. Larson

CLUMP
I challenge you to think of one arena that is fabrication free


TONY
How about education?


CLUMP
The biggest lie of all.


TONY
What? How?


CLUMP
Education reflects the ideas of those in power.  History is written by those in power. What we teach here is a LOT different than what they teach in North Korea.


TONY
But that’s a whole different country with a crazy dictator.


CLUMP
It happens in America too. Do you really think Seattle teachers are telling students the same thing as they do in Dallas?


TONY
It’s basically the same.


CLUMP
Ever hear about evolution?  


TONY
Of course.


CLUMP
You think they teach the same thing about it in Dallas and Seattle?


TONY
So conservatives are stupid is what you’re saying?


CLUMP
No, liberals can be stupid too. Some schools have banned Christmas in Maryland and New York. I love Christmas. It’s the easiest time to live a lie.


TONY
Now you're saying Christmas is a lie?


CLUMP
It's the biggest lie of all. Santa?  Santa is a major lie parents tell their children to make them happy. See. Lies are fun.


TONY
You're confusing lies with stories.


CLUMP
But we love to tell our children that these stories are true.


TONY
So you’re saying that everything we believe in is just a lie?


CLUMP
Even your heroes are liars. People admire actors and they make a living at lying.
Athletes aren't much better. They can be violent. They cheat, steal, do drugs.


TONY
There are some heroes who tell the truth and force us all to see through the lies. Like Martin Luther King Jr.


CLUMP
Shot.


TONY
Gandhi.


CLUMP
Shot.


TONY
Mother Teresa.


CLUMP
I’ll give you that one


TONY
So I win?


CLUMP
What?


TONY
I win!  I found someone who told the truth and was honest and good. She is someone I can admire and look up to and emulate.


CLUMP
My friend, you’re no Mother Teresa.


TONY
How do you know?  Maybe I can be one day. Maybe I can still be someone good who helps others makes this world a better place.  


CLUMP
Good luck with that.


TONY
Thanks. I am off to find some hungry people to feed and some sick people to take care of.


(TONY exits)


CLUMP
Alright class. For your homework, research Mother Teresa. Find something she lied about. No one can become that famous or that important without telling a few lies along the way.  Dig up some dirt. I want to take this woman down!


END OF SCRIPT

BACK TO PART 1

or buy a low cost PDF at
https://sellfy.com/p/yEbB/

Buy now

For permission to use this play contact doug@freedrama.net (please include the title "Pants on Fire" in your request")







Find more free short stage play scripts at http://www.freedrama.net/short.html



Find more plays for 2 actors (duologues) at http://www.freedrama.net/small2.html

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