Monday, December 12, 2016

A Little Private Education Part 8 "The Way He Smells" scene 1 male 1 female

"A Little Private Education"

PART 8 - 1 male 1 female

PEG
Well, I'm off.

LUKE
Are you sure you should go out with him tonight?  

PEG
What do you mean?

LUKE
I have a bad feeling about it, that's all.

PEG
You have a bad feeling about it?  Since when did you develop an intuition?

LUKE
Since he walked in the door.  Something doesn't seem right about him.  Maybe it's the way he smells.

PEG
He had on very nice cologne.

LUKE
I think it was toilet water.

PEG
Are you done with the plumber jokes yet?

LUKE
I don't know.  Give me a minute.

PEG
I haven't got a minute.  I have a date to get ready for.  And so do you.

LUKE
It's not a date!

PEG
Oh, I see.  You can tease me but I can't tease you.

LUKE
I haven't been that bad.

PEG
You were a complete jerk when Paul was having a drink.

LUKE
(Smiles)
Oh, that.

PEG
That wasn't funny.

LUKE
Sorry.  

PEG
I'll bet you are.



LUKE
And he still liked you despite my jerkiness.   He must really like you then.

PEG
True.

LUKE
So in a way I helped things along.

PEG
I wouldn't go that far.

LUKE
You better get going.  You don't have much time.

PEG
You going to be able to clean this all up yourself?

LUKE
No problem.  I have it taken care of in no time.  All I have to do is spread some gasoline, light a few matches...

PEG
And blame it on the kids.  That's awful.

LUKE
Actually I was thinking of blaming it on you.

PEG
Thanks a lot.

LUKE
I'll split the money with you.

PEG
Okay.

LUKE
Now who's the awful one?

PEG
I've got bills to pay.

LUKE
And no job to pay them.

PEG
I'll bum off my brother.  He has money coming out his ears.

LUKE
Hardly.

PEG
What?  You mean Mrs. Poke isn't lining your pockets?

LUKE
Not that much.

PEG
Then you haven't been a good boy.


LUKE
What are you talking about?

PEG
You haven't lived up to her expectations.

LUKE
Not this again.

PEG
Hey, Luke.  This could be your big chance.

LUKE
For what?

PEG
The big time.  She's loaded.  You could be the next Mr. Poke.

LUKE
You're not funny.

PEG
Please.  Do it for me?  Your sister needs your help.

LUKE
She needs the help of a psychiatrist.

PEG
My credit card bill needs your help too.

LUKE
A job would help you more.

PEG
You'd be really rich.

LUKE
I’m not listening to this anymore.

PEG
All I'm getting at is you better not disappoint the woman.  Give her what she wants, if you want this school of yours to work.

LUKE
Anything she wants?  You mean like a back rub?

PEG
Or something more?

LUKE
I don't want to think about this.

PEG
You'd better think about it.

LUKE
I don’t know if I can do this.


PEG
Why not?  She's rich and powerful.  Who says money can't buy anything?

LUKE
It can't buy me.

PEG
Then you can kiss your school good-bye.
(Pause)
If you really had to make a choice, would you give up the school?

LUKE
We're talking fiction here.

PEG
Just for fun.  Say I'm right.  Pretend Mrs. Poke would like to... uh... date you... often.  Then what?

LUKE
(Annoyed)
I wouldn't do it, okay.

PEG
Fine.  Boy, you're no fun.

LUKE
What would you do?

PEG
I'd take the money.

LUKE
Mom sure raised you right.

PEG
Face it, Luke.  Money equals happiness squared.  

LUKE
Let me introduce you to Satan here.  Does he have a deal for you.

PEG
Oh, ye of little money.

LUKE
Now you sound like you want me to seduce her.


PEG
You could use the money.

LUKE
No, you could use the money.  But you're not getting it.

PEG
Fine.  Keep it all yourself.  See if I care.

LUKE
Let's hope you're not right or we'll both be out of a job.

PEG
I'd seriously think it over.  Unemployment isn't fun.

LUKE
Then why do you always quit your jobs?

PEG
I don't know.  Working isn't that great either I guess.

LUKE
You are a complicated person, Peg.

PEG
I like it that way.  It keeps them guessing.

LUKE
I just hope there's an answer.

PEG
I better go.

LUKE
A romantic evening at the hockey rink?

PEG
At least I have a date with someone my own age.

LUKE
It's better than being sung to by Chucky the Wood Chuck at the Chuck Wagon.


PEG
I like Chucky.

LUKE
You would.

PEG
Enjoy your date.

LUKE
It's not a date!

PEG
Wear your blue silk shirt.  She'll love you in that.  

LUKE
Go away.

PEG
Think about taking her up on any offers.


LUKE
Think about getting mental help.

PEG
I'm hurt.  I'm going now.

LUKE
Good.  Bye.

PEG
But I will have my revenge.
(Exits)

LUKE
Yeah, right.
(Goes to bathroom)
Finally the bathroom is fixed.  I don't think I could have waited much longer.
(Exits)
Ah!  What happened to my toilet?!


(Lights fade to black)


  • ISBN-13: 978-1532853111

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