“Cell Phone Zombies” free short comedy stage play or short movie script

“Cell Phone Zombies”
(aka "Smartphone Zombies")

short comedy play script

by D. M. Larson
Copyright (c) 2016

From the published play "Control the Future" available on Amazon.com 

• ISBN-13: 978-1540666581 
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• "Cell Phone Zombies" 
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• (Two time travelers, BAKER and JONES, are on stage.  They can either be in a spotlight with other people lumbering around in the darkness behind them or them alone on stage with people moaning off stage)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  BAKER
  
  
  We have traveled back in time to a critical time in our history. This is a key moment where our world was nearly destroyed by a mind numbing technology that turned everyone into zombies. This is the zombie apocalypse!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  (Lights come up and people - ZOMBIE JOE and MOE - wander around the stage looking at their cell phones moaning as they walk not looking where they are going and bumping into each other which causes more moaning.  More Zombie Cell Phone Users can be added if available)

JONES

It's horrible. What caused our ancestors to suffer this terrible fate?

BAKER

It's these strange devices they are all carrying around and staring at.  They've all been put into a trance by these things. They can't stop looking at them.

JONES

What's that strange sound they’re all making?

BAKER

We call it the iMoan.

JONES

This is too horrible. I can’t watch. Why did you bring me back to see all this? 

BAKER

Because history tells us you are the one who stops it. A time traveler with your name is the one who saves humanity?

JONES

Are you sure it was me?  Jones is a pretty common name.  I went to school with someone with the same name first and last name even, that’s how common it is.

BAKER

I sure hope you're the right one. We've been planning this your entire life.

JONES

You mean you've been grooming me my whole life to travel back in time and save the world?

BAKER

Yes.

JONES

That explains the guy in the suit and sunglasses that was always following me around as a kid.

BAKER

I was hoping you didn't notice that.

JONES

He was creepy! He gave me nightmares!

BAKER

Sorry about that.

JONES

I had to get therapy!

BAKER

We paid for that.

JONES

It helped. Thanks. 

BAKER

You’re welcome.

JONES

So how am I supposed to save the world anyway?

BAKER

We're not sure. We just know that you somehow do it alone. No mention of anyone else.

JONES

No mention of you?

BAKER

Affirmative. Very odd indeed. 

JONES

Hey! Lookout! That zombie is driving a car while looking at one of those devices!

BAKER

This is  bad. These are all manual vehicles.  No self driving cars in this time period. 

JONES

It's headed right for us! 

BAKER

I have to stop it. You have to be safe!  You must complete your mission!

JONES

What are you doing?! 

(BAKER runs off stage. There is a car screech and thump - or this can be staged in a silly way with a zombie person driving a small kid car or a cutout of a car and hits BAKER)

JONES (CONT.)

Oh no!  Baker’s dead. What do I do? Okay, stay calm Jones.  You were trained for this kind of situation.  The emergency kit.  Look in the emergency kit. We have a wound self-cleaning bandage, common cold cure tablet, unlimited credit instant currency card good for any time period, instant shelter just add water, daily meal pill…  a sonic toothbrush...  

(Turns it on. Zombie Joe, who is closest to JONES stops and moans louder. Phone isn’t working anymore. Zombie Joe holds it up to the sky and tries to get reception)

JONES (CONT.)

Did the sonic toothbrush just disrupt your phone?

(JONES points it at another person, ZOMBIE MOE, and turns it on. That person’s phone stops working.  They moan too and hold it up too trying to get reception).

JONES (CONT.)

This sonic toothbrush has higher settings… I’ll turn it to up popcorn stuck between the teeth.

(More zombies stop and moan and hold up their phones.  If more actors are not available then the moaning can come from off stage. The first and second zombies, JOE and MOE, are starting to turn back to normal)

ZOMBIE JOE

What’s going on?

ZOMBIE MOE

I don’t know.

ZOMBIE JOE

Where am I?

JONES

Welcome to the future, my good people.  I have freed you of the terrible creature that took over your world.  Be free of this hideous device forever.

(Takes Zombie Moe’s phone and throws it)

ZOMBIE MOE

Hey!  I don’t have insurance on that!

ZOMBIE JOE

I have the dropsie plan. I can drop it and get a new one. I do that monthly. I always have to have the latest phone.

ZOMBIE MOE

Let’s go get new ones.  I hear the new iPid is awesome.

ZOMBIE JOE

What’s an iPid?

ZOMBIE MOE

I have no clue but it’s new!

ZOMBIE JOE

I want one!

(ZOMBIE MOE and JOE exit)

JONES

It’s no good.  They are obsessed.  I will have to find a way to destroy all the phones.  Let’s set this to plaque removal.

(Turns sonic toothbrush on.  More moaning)

Teeth whitening.

(Turns it on again.  Even more moaning)

Root canal!

(Turns it on again and there is all kinds of moaning from all over - use pre-recorded moans or get audience to join in)

Who would have thought someone could save the world with a sonic toothbrush?

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JONES (CONT.)

Where is that time traveling device anyway?   You’d think an emergency kit would have one or at least a return to home device or something.  

Oh well… at least I have this no credit limit currency card…

(ZOMBIE MOE runs in and grabs it)

ZOMBIE MOE

Zoink!  I’m buying me an iPid.

(ZOMBIE MOE runs off)

JONES

Hey! Give that back!

(JONES runs off after ZOMBIE MOE.  ZOMBIE JOE finds the emergency kit and starts going through it)

ZOMBIE JOE

A daily meal pill?  Hmmm…

(Puts it in his mouth)

ZOMBIE JOE (CONT.)

Hey… it’s like I’m eating… like the food is appearing in my mouth as I suck the pill… Fruit Loops… coffee.... Donuts… some kind of melon… pizza for lunch… uh… why would they put anchovies on it?  Uh…

END OF SCENE

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• "Cell Phone Zombies" 
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Purchase an low cost PDF of the scene at Sellfy.com

Published in the book "Control the Future" on Amazon.com ISBN-13: 978-1540666581 

Check out this

fun animated version from Dorothy Jean Johnson

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