Thursday, July 6, 2017

Big Nose A Modern Cyrano monologues from a published play



Where have you all been? Getting ready for what? The apocalypse?! I've been here for twenty minutes! We were to meet at the shelter to make our plan of attack. How can you know what equipment you'll need if you don't know what disaster we're facing? Oh, I wouldn't want to interfere with your busy schedule. In fact, why don't I tell you when a disaster is coming a week in advance? That way you can plan ahead of time to make sure you're free! But it's not going to happen! God doesn't call ahead to let me know when these things happen. They just do. And that's why we've got to be ready. Fine. Why don't you all go home. Take the day off. When there is an earthquake or a blizzard and the people crowd into this shelter looking for help, I'll tell them there's nothing we can do, because we're not prepared to help.
Go home then. I said go home!



Save your breath. I don't need anyone's sympathy. I'm used to disappointment. I experience it every morning when I look in the mirror. Some people have bad hair days. I have bad nose days. You want to know what's wrong? Roxy and I were here all night talking. And that's we did was talk. And that's all we can ever do, is talk. What else would a woman want with me? She's beautiful and smart… And way out of my league. What is my league, anyway? Bearded ladies? The mail order kind? Don't even kid yourself. Someone like her is looking for someone a lot better looking than me.
(CYRIL sadly laughs)
Who'd want me anyway? Who'd want to wake up every morning and see a glorious nose. My nose is huge, enormous, vast! Hey, here's an accessory I should be proud to wear. I have been told a large nose is the sign of a large heart. It is a symbol of courage and courtesy. It makes me twice a man! It should. I have twice the nose. But what makes me great, unique and wonderful... makes me most undesirable.
(Looks off sadly)
All you see is my nose. That's all anyone sees. Roxy could never love me. You've helped me to see that now. I was a dreamer. Living in my mind. Flying to the moon and back. Riding on a moon beam. Skipping on clouds. I am a poet. A romantic. I shall always smell the rose but never touch it.



What are you doing here?  I am supposed to be in bed asleep.  No,  you can't join me.
(Her anger and surprise changes to worry)
But don't go.  Hide over there.  But not too far away.
(She looks around)
Can you still hear me?  Shhh... I don't want them to hear your voice... But I want you to listen.
(She becomes sweet and shy)
I want to tell you something.  I know you can't see my face.  The night hides me from you.  But when you get closer I can feel myself blushing.
(She gets excited)
It's because of those things you say to me...
(Then she catches herself and scolds him)
You shouldn't say them...
(Then saddens)
But I want to hear more... I want so badly to hear your sweet words again.
Is it wrong for me to want that?  Is it wrong for me to think what I thinking about you?
(More determined)
I want more than words... More than compliments.  I want to hear THE words... The words that mean more than all the rest.
(long pause)
 Tell me you love me... I know you feel it but I want to hear the words...
(She closes her eyes and says sweetly. CYRIL is very touched by this)
I love you...
(long pause; she opens her eyes and is stern)
But if you say it and it's a lie… I don't think I could survive such a lie.
Lovers lie don't they... Would you lie to get a kiss from me?  I only want to hear the truth... Please. Don't tell me lies.  Say you love me!
(She looks around to see if anyone heard her; long pause; she looks at him nervously)
I hope I don't seem easy. You think I sound too desperate?
(smiles and laughs a little)
I sound a bit silly like some schoolgirl... it's because I am so crazy about you.
(pause; more serious)
I won't lie to you... I love you. It is true love I feel.  
(pause; nervous)
Maybe I should have lied... I should hidden my love from you.  My love should stayed hidden in the night, never to see the light of day.
(She is startled by a sound)
Someone is coming... Please go away... They can't see you here... no one can... Hurry...
(She watches him go; sadly)
I will send you a kiss good-bye.



(This is an over-dramatic death scene of a 17th century captain who has been stabbed by a sword.  He should be dead but it takes forever for him to die)

Oh, my heart. My loving heart. My heart is stabbed. I can love no more.

(He falls. He might be dead.  Nope.  He gets up again)

I die now. I die. I leave thee to love for I can love no more. My heart is worn. My blood will pour this night no more. I leave my sword, my rank, my love. You have it all now. You have everything I desire.

(Cough. Falls to his knees)

I die and leave thee. I die and leave thee these words…

(Gurgling sound. Falls to the ground.  Halfway up one more time)


(Falls and dies finally)

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