Thursday, July 6, 2017

Big Nose A Modern Cyrano Part 1 one act stage play script for actors

Big Nose
(A Modern Cyrano)
by D. M. Larson
Copyright (c) 1994, 2003, 2016
All Rights Reserved*

Please do NOT repost the text of this script online.

For permission to perform the script, contact doug@freedrama.net

Cast of Characters
CYRIL: A local man who has a rather large nose.

ROXY: An actress in the CAPTAIN'S play who catches CYRIL'S eye.
KELLY: CYRIL'S friend who runs the theatre.

CAPTAIN: A bad actor who makes William Shatner look good.
SOLDIER: Another equally bad actor.
FRANK/FRIEND(S): A friend of CYRIL'S in the audience who can be played by one or more actors of either gender.

Time and Place

A modern day community theatre in small town USA.

SCENE 1

(KELLY and ROXY are working upstage on the set for a scene that takes place outside a castle. CAPTAIN is on stage practicing his sword fighting technique which is terrible. SOLDIER enters and CAPTAIN stabs him. SOLDIER sighs)

CAPTAIN
What’s wrong?

SOLDIER
Heather called in sick.

CAPTAIN
She what?! She can’t do that.

SOLDIER
She’s really sick… I could hear her… getting sick over the phone.

CAPTAIN
What are we going to do?

SOLDIER
I can play both parts.  She and I are not on stage at the same time.

CAPTAIN
But she gives me a kiss at the end of the play. I don’t want you kissing me.

SOLDIER
Is my breath that bad?

CAPTAIN
We’ll have to cancel the show.

(KELLY goes over followed by ROXY)

KELLY
Something wrong?


CAPTAIN
One of our actresses bailed on us.  We’ll have to cancel the show.

KELLY
This is terrible. I can’t afford to refund all those tickets.

CAPTAIN
Well, I’m not paying them back.

KELLY
Now wait buddy… we have a contract… I believe I get a refund if you don’t perform...

CAPTAIN
Minus a non-refundable processing fee.

KELLY
Where does it say that in the contract?

CAPTAIN
(To SOLDIER)
They never read the fine print.

KELLY
You crook!

ROXY
Wait, how big of a part is it?

CAPTAIN
Not big, but important. She is my love interest. And she has to kiss me at the end.

KELLY
That’s probably why the actress called in sick.

ROXY
I can do it.

KELLY
You’d do that?

CAPTAIN
Yeah, you look like someone I could kiss.

ROXY
If it would help you, Kelly, I’ll do it… for you.

CAPTAIN
You’re way hotter than the other actress.

SOLDIER
Hey, that’s my girlfriend.

CAPTAIN
And she’s a bad kisser.

SOLDIER
For you maybe.

(SOLDIER practices his swordplay during the scene)

CAPTAIN
So… what’s your name, beautiful?

ROXY
Roxy.

CAPTAIN
Nice name too. Yum.

KELLY
Uh… Roxy, you don’t need to do this.  I’m willing to take a loss on this one.

ROXY
This theatre is struggling as it is. I’ll do it. I’m here to help remember.

CAPTAIN
So why don’t you go try on the costume. It should fit. You have the right build. And we’ll practice the scene a few times?  I want to make sure we get it right.

KELLY
I’ll bet you do.

ROXY
Okay, I’ll back in a sec.

KELLY
Thanks for taking one for the team.

ROXY
You owe me.

KELLY
Big time.


(ROXY exits)

GO TO PART 2

From the play "Big Nose" ISBN-13: 978-1542471077

Buy a low cost PDF of this play on Etsy.com






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