"Forget About Me"
by D. M. Larson
I suffer every day and you don't even see it. You don't see the hurt inside me do you? But it's too much to hold inside anymore.
I can't handle it... I'm going crazy. The fear is crippling me... I have to drag myself out of bed and force myself to live each day... Sure, I put on this happy face... I bet you think I am pretty cheerful... No one cares to see the pain under my skin... The pain that's ripping at me... And tearing me apart.
What's wrong with me? You sure you want to know?
I feel like I am never good enough for you.
No matter what I do it's not as good as my sister. I always have to hear how she would have done it better. Or how she already did it better.
Why does she want to ruin my life? She just wants to blot me out like I was some sort of mistake... I'm just a copy... A copy of a copy... Not as good as the original... Not as good as you.
(Sarcastic and bitter)
You are so perfect... Everyone around me is so perfect... And there was nothing left over for me... I am the leftover failures... I am the fatty waste you toss to the dogs.
Everyone hates me! Why does everyone think I am so horrible...
(Shakes and tries to hold back the fury)
Probably because I am. A horrible creature doomed to walk this earth and suffer... For you.
(Cries uncontrollably... Struggles to speak)
I'm hurting... Hurting so bad inside. Cut off from everyone ... Punished for some past life wrongs... What did I do in a past life to deserve this?.. Or am I paying for the sins of my father... And mother... Am I your sin? Or do I remind you of some sin you want to forget?
Or I am a disappointment that keeps disappointing... I even disappoint myself.
I will never be my sister. I don't want to be her. I hate everything about her!
But I don't want to be me either. Sometimes I want to fade away... Become a shadow... Fading away... Forgotten... Maybe if you forget about me I won't make you so sad anymore.
END OF MONOLOGUE
Monologue by D. M. Larson
From the published stage play script "The Bullied, Bungled and Botched" ISBN-13: 978-1518661082
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