PANTS ON FIRE PART 1
A short play
By D. M. Larson
(There are two main actors, a student named TONY and a professor named CLUMP. More students in the scene would add to the atmosphere)
CLUMP
Welcome to the our advanced leadership course. Armed with carefully crafted lies you can become the ultimate politician, a master lawyer or the salesman of the year. You all enter now with the rank of little white liar but under my tutelage I will guide you to be a master liar with your Pants on Fire. To achieve the rank of Pants on Fire you must dedicate yourself to this course above all other courses. You must commit yourself to being to the best deceiver of anyone you know. You need to be willing to indulge in lies even when it is totally unnecessary. Lying is an art. And being a true liar is a way of life.
(TONY looks confused and gets up to leave the class)
My experience in fabrication comes from practicing law as both an attorney and judge. I have also consulted on numerous political campaigns...
(CLUMP notices TONY leaving)
CLUMP
Is there a problem?
TONY
I think I am in the wrong class. I signed up for Ethics.
CLUMP
Fate has brought you to us. Besides your ethics class was canceled.
TONY
What? Are you sure?
CLUMP
Positive.
TONY
I checked on it this morning. The class is full. Why would they cancel? Wait… you're lying aren’t you?
CLUMP
Why waste your time with ethics? Ethics will only hinder you and slow you down in life, but lies will set you free.
TONY
I thought lying was bad.
(CLUMP laughs and students join him. Everyone laughs except Tony)
CLUMP
You’ll get nowhere with an attitude like that.
TONY
Nowhere is better than where you’re going.
(Tony laughs but no one laughs with him)
CLUMP
Let’s give you a test. Would you vote for an honest person who says things you don’t believe in or a dishonest person who agrees with you? And say the honest person succeeds in doing the thing you disagree with but the dishonest person fails. You end up worse off because you supported the honest person. The smart politician lies and tells you what you want. They may even “try” to get you what you want. You have a better chance of getting what you want with the dishonest politician. So why bother with the honest one?
TONY
You’re really twisting this around. Oh what a tangled web you weave.
CLUMP
And is the honest person really honest? Or just a better liar? Everyone is hiding something. The honest person appears “clean” because they are better liars.
TONY
The political system is so corrupt. There’s no such thing as an honest politician anymore.
CLUMP
We can apply this to business too.
TONY
Please don’t.
CLUMP
To law.
TONY
No surprise there.
CLUMP
Lawyers create truth to help others, to defend, to free. The lie must be so convincing that you believe it yourself in order to be a success.
TONY
Everything is corrupt; it’s all a lie.
GO TO PART 2
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For permission to use this play contact doug@freedrama.net (please include the title "Pants on Fire" in your request")
or buy a low cost PDF at
https://sellfy.com/p/yEbB/
Buy now
For permission to use this play contact doug@freedrama.net (please include the title "Pants on Fire" in your request")
Find more free short stage play scripts at http://www.freedrama.net/short.html
Find more plays for 2 actors (duologues) at http://www.freedrama.net/small2.html
