FLOWERS IN THE DESERT
ACT I
ACT I
Scene 1
(Lights come up on the front of an old farmhouse. The door to the home is UC. DR is an area of dirt intended for a garden. The rest of the farm is off stage. PAULA is feeding her baby pig with a bottle)
PAULA
Ain't it just the most beautiful mornin'? Ain't it just a dream? Oh, what a glorious God we have to give us such a wonderful day.
(TINA comes out during PAULA's opening speech)
TINA
If you start singing, I'm gonna hit you upside the head.
PAULA
Well, good morning to you too, Tina. You look nice today, doesn't she piggy?
TINA
You're so weird.
PAULA
Off to feed the rest of the animals?
TINA
(Puts on rubber boots)
Unfortunately.
PAULA
Oh, that's my favorite job.
(Baby talk to pig)
I just love feeding the little animals.
TINA
(Pokes pig)
So how's old Oscar Meyer today?
PAULA
That's not his name!
TINA
Well, it should be.
(PAULA feeds the pig more milk)
That's the way to do it, Paula. Fatten him up. He'll be ready before you know it.
PAULA
Ready for what?
TINA
(Hungry look)
Dinner.
PAULA
Hush now. You're gonna scare piggy.
TINA
(Sings as she exits R)
"Oh, I wish I had an Oscar Meyer wiener."
PAULA
(More baby talk)
Don't you pay her no mind, piggy. She's just an awful little heathen. Yes, she is.
(SARGE enters R with garden tools)
SARGE
Morning, Paula.
PAULA
Morning, Sarge. What'cha doing?
SARGE
I'm going to plant me some flowers right over there.
(Points DR)
PAULA
Well, may God bless your flowers.
(SARGE goes DR, puts on some headphones, turns on his portable music player, and begins work)
TINA
(Reenters R)
Hey, Sarge. Where's...
(Sees SARGE)
What's he doing?
PAULA
Planting flowers.
TINA
In a desert?
(Yells)
It'll never work, Sarge!
PAULA
He can't hear you.
(Points to ears)
Headphones.
TINA
I know that.
PAULA
Then why'd you yell?
TINA
Cause I felt like it, okay? You got a problem with that?
PAULA
No, we don't have a problem, do we piggy?
TINA
That's debatable.
(Looks around)
Where's Ma?
PAULA
(SHELLY comes out of the house)
She went to town to pick up her niece or nephew or someone like that.
SHELLY
(Smiles)
I hope it's a nephew.
PAULA
How come?
(SHELLY puts on her sunglasses and leans on the porch railing. She lets the morning sun caress her, trying to look like a movie star)
TINA
Why do you ask so many dumb questions?
(PAULA doesn't answer)
When's breakfast going to be? I'm hungry.
PAULA
You slept right through it. We ate before Ma left.
TINA
What?
PAULA
Ma told us to get up early today.
TINA
How come nobody woke me up?
SHELLY
We tried, honey, but you wouldn't budge.
PAULA
Besides, a little fasting always does a person some good.
TINA
Fasting? Are you saying I'm fat or something?
PAULA
No!
TINA
You better not be saying that or I'll bash your face in.
(TINA gives PAULA another dirty look and exits R)
PAULA
(To pig)
I guess she got up on the wrong side of the trough. She just ain't morning people like us. Isn't that right, piggy?
SHELLY
(Looking at her clothes)
Paula? Does this color look good on me? I thought it was pink in the store but now it looks sort of purple. Oh, but I do like the style of it. It shows off my finer qualities. I guess the color really doesn't matter quite so much then does it?
(Very happy)
I can make even a simple little blouse look good, can't I?
(SHELLY exits back inside)
PAULA
It looked pink to me. Maybe she'll let me borrow it sometime.
(Baby talk)
Cause pink is our favorite color, ain't it piggy?
(Sad)
Boy, I wish I was as pretty as Shelly.
(Baby talk as she gets up and heads R)
But I guess piggies shouldn't try to be petunias.
(PAULA exits R)
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