"CALL ME DUMPER"
by D. M. Larson
They call me Dumper. I got the nickname when I was a young in' I was watching that Bambi movie. Every time I would see Thumper I would get so excited I would take a dump in my pants. I loved that rabbit for some reason. He just made me so happy. So happy I'd mess myself. We all need something like that in our lives. Something that makes us so happy we lose control. When ma finally got me potty trained, she didn't let me watch that movie anymore.
So I had to find other things to make me happy. Not much did after that. No toy or treat made me as excited as that cute little bunny did.
Maybe I will buy myself a pet bunny rabbit. I will hug and squeeze him and name him George. Bunnies are so soft and cuddly. I just wanna pick them up and smoosh them on my face.
Oh man. I have to go to the crapper just thinking about it.
END OF MONOLOGUE
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