Saturday, June 20, 2015

"Unprofessional" monologue for female from stage play script "Such a Good Listener"

For permission to use this monologue, contact (please include the title "Unprofessional" in the request).


by D. M. Larson
You know what? I’m tired of being professional all the time. But I’m afraid to be unprofessional too.

(EDNA takes off her glasses)

Okay, well… there’s a reason I don’t like being unprofessional. Last time I was unprofessional, someone broke my heart.

There was this repair guy who used to come here a lot. He was a little cliché’ – not the smartest guy but really good with his hands. He could fix anything. He even had the little crack when he bent over. But it was the nicest crack. And it’s not a plumber’s crack because he doesn’t do plumbing. I don’t think I could date a plumber. But a fix it man… good with his hands… I’d like that. I really like hands. They say so much about a guy. I can’t like a man with soft hands… it would like being with another woman… and it means he never did a hard day’s work.  But I love a man with good strong hands. It means they can take care of you and aren’t afraid to work hard to get what they want. I thought this repair guy… Stanley was his name… was the kind of guy who could make me happy. So I started bringing him treats… bake him cookies and such.

 He seems to really like it. And he’d take breaks and sit and talk with me. I feel like we really connected and he acted like he really liked me. But then he left his cell phone by accident… I know I should have looked but it kept buzzing and text messages kept appearing… I shouldn’t have looked at them but I couldn’t help it… I was so sad when I did… because they were from his wife!

 I could tell by what she was saying… bossing him around… wanting him to run errands for her… asking where he was… getting angrier and angrier that he wouldn’t answer… Why did he toy with me like that? Why did he act like he liked me when he knew he couldn’t? It doesn’t matter now though… but it did hurt… a lot.

You’re such a good listener, you know that?



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