Thursday, September 3, 2015

"My Audition Video" funny comedy monologues - both male and female versions - solo stage play scripts

Below are two different versions of a script (one for a male and one for a female).  The monologue is about an actor who is trying to do an audition video but has kids in the background that make it quite challenging. This is based on an audition I received for one of my Freedrama contests.  The performance was actually quite good but I could hear kids in the background.  I was impressed that the performance was so good despite the obvious distractions.  It was pretty cute.

For permission to use this monologue, please email doug@freedrama.net and include the title "My Audition Video" in your request.

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"My Audition Video"

by D. M. Larson

(MALE VERSION)


DAD

Everybody quiet down - daddy is doing his acting job right now and needs it quiet - yes acting is a real job - quiet!  Watch it Sir Stinky Pants - If you ever want to see Drippy the Dragon again then you better zip it.
how about we have a quiet contest? Whichever one of you is quieter the longest gets to pick what game we play when I am done. Yes, i will dress as the black knight or a dragon or whatever you want if You win. And if my little princess wins, what do you want?  A puppy! No I'm not buying a puppy - Here, pretend like the baby is a puppy. That's as good as it gets. I already taught her to bark for you, bought you a chew toy to give her and a leash. Walk her around the living room for me. Okay - thanks kiddo. 


Camera speed, rolling  and action

Hi... This is my video audition for.... The new action movie blockbuster Quadruple Overkill, the 4th installment of your successful Fist of Vengence movie series - I'm a big fan of your work.

(He does a dramatic pose)

My name... is Ridge Steel.

(Aside)

Yes. I know that's not daddy's real name - that's it - go to your room - don't you give me that look.

What's that smell?  Oh baby.
Ridge Steele will be back - after he defuses this bomb...

(Hums some spy type music as he exits)

END OF MALE VERSION
...

"My Audition Video"
by D. M. Larson

(FEMALE VERSION)

MOM

Everybody quiet down - mommy is  doing her acting job right now and needs it quiet - yes acting is a real job - quiet!  Watch it Sir Stinky Pants - If you ever want to see Drippy the Dragon again then you better zip it.
how about we have a quiet contest? Whichever one of you is quieter the longest gets to pick what game we play when I am done. Yes, i will dress as the black knight or a dragon or whatever you want if You win. And if my little princess wins, what do you want?  A puppy! No I'm not buying a puppy - Here pretend like the baby is a puppy. That's as good as it gets. I already taught her to bark for you, bought you a chew toy to give her and a leash. Walk her around the living room for me. Okay - thanks kiddo. 

Camera speed, rolling  and action

Hi... This is my video audition for.... The new romantic comedy movie While You Were Flushing - I will be auditioning for role of the female romantic lead of the plumber who is transformed by the love of a man who can see past her masculine job and love her for the woman she really is - 

(She does a sexy pose)

My name... is Misty Waters. (Or ?)

(Aside)

Yes. I know that's not mommy's real name - that's it - go to your room - don't you give me that look.

What's that smell?  Oh baby.
Misty Water will be back - after she takes care of this plumbing accident - see I'm already good with poop.

END OF MONOLOGUE



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Check out more FREE stuff on the popular Freedrama Blog Posts below: Top 10 Most Popular Free Monologues: http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/08/top-10-most-popular-monologues-on.html Best Short Play Scripts and Skits: http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/08/best-short-plays-free-popular-stage.html Top 10 Comedy Monologues - Funny Solo Play Scripts: http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/08/funny-monologues-top-10-comedy-solo.html Free Online Acting School Class: http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/08/free-acting-school-for-new-actors-part.html Top 10 Acting Tips for New Actors: http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/08/top-10-acting-tips-help-for-new-actors.html

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