Bad Air Texas Part 5
(STACY enters R. Sees CAMI trying to hold RICK who is struggling)
STACY
STACY
What’s going on?
RICK
(Breaks away from CAMI)
This isn’t what it looks like.
CAMI
I’m sorry, Ms. Toredovich. I tried to keep him away, but men just lose control around me.
STACY
I don’t care what was going on, just knock it off.
CAMI
You say… I listen.
(Goes to her terminal)
RICK
Please, Ms. Toredovich. You have to let me explain.
STACY
Look, I just want you to behave yourself long enough to get through tonight. Please, no more fooling around.
RICK
But I…
(CAMI’s phone rings)
STACY
Are you going to answer that?
CAMI
I can't right now. You've got me all stressed out.
RICK
(Gets phone)
AirCraphvia. Rick speaking.
(RICK checks CAMI's computer terminal)
CAMI
He’s much better on the phone than I am.
RICK
(Surprised)
Sorry, sir. But that flight’s actually full.
(STACY all make coughing sounds and whisk him downstage. RICK puts his hand over the receiver)
What did I do wrong?
STACY
We are never full.
RICK
What?
STACY
Remember this rule. The plane is never full. We always have seats.
RICK
How’s that possible?
STACY
See, we expect people to miss the flight or cancel, so we overbook so we’re full.
RICK
But what if everyone shows?
STACY
Then they wait for the next plane.
RICK
But…
STACY
(Takes the phone)
Sir, we just had an opening.
(Punches information into computer)
CAMI
You take my spot, Rick. I need a break.
RICK
When did you start working?
CAMI
I do lots of work.
RICK
When?
CAMI
All of the time. I do it so fast that you don't see it.
STACY
(Gets off phone)
How do you people manage to survive?
RICK
We do very well considering how small we are.
CAMI
Rick, honey. Never say that you are too small to a woman.
STACY
Always with the jokes.
(Sighs)
Look, President Corbichovich of Craphvia is arriving today on the one-eleven out of Santalivia.
CAMI
President? Don’t you mean dictator?
STACY
He was elected to office.
CAMI
He won only because he killed the guy he was running against.
STACY
I’ll admit his methods aren’t the most ethical, but Craphvia has said that Corbichovich has established the most democratic dictatorship in a couple of centuries.
CAMI
You can call Hitler, Honest Abe, but he still ain’t no Lincoln.
RICK
That was surprisingly deep, Cami.
STACY
We will treat him with the utmost respect. No matter what your feelings are on the subject, he is the owner of our airline and the United State recognizes him as the legitimate ruler of Craphvia.
CAMI
You can call a con an artist but he still ain’t a…
STACY
Cami, please, stop with the metaphors.
CAMI
Metawhats?
RICK
I promise you, she’s not as stupid as she is.
CAMI
Thank you, Rick.
(Thinks)
Hey!
(She smacks RICK who laughs)
