Unicorns and Alleycats Part 3
a play by D. M. Larson
TINK
I still don't know what to do.
DUDE
While you're deciding, why don't you enjoy yourself a little.
TINK
(Not seeing anything enjoyable)
How?
DUDE
You could rummage through a garbage can...
(Pantomimes or actually has a garbage can on
stage)
...and find all kinds of fun stuff to play with. An old hat. A scarf. Some old gloves. Viola. A costume to act out any part.
(Acts out following)
You could play a beggar, a blind man, or a mobster.
(Shoots a gun)
Rat-tat-tat-tat.
TINK
I don't like garbage.
DUDE
(Flinging costume aside and jumping through
mud puddles)
Try jumping and splashing through puddles. It's great fun.
TINK
I'm wet enough, thank you.
DUDE
(Stops and think a moment)
There are all kinds of things to do in the city. You could sneak into a theatre and see a movie or a play.
TINK
I'm too big to sneak in.
DUDE
You could go down to the market and beg for fish.
TINK
(In distaste)
Fish?
DUDE
(Trying to think of something)
You could sneak into a mattress store and sleep away the afternoon...
(Chuckles)
...or at least until you're caught.
(Looks at her and sees she isn't responding)
No, I guess not.
(Thinks)
I know a great spot that overlooks the city.
TINK
I'm not into cityscapes.
DUDE
You can also watch the sunset.
TINK
(Smiles a little)
That kind of sounds nice.
DUDE
(Excited)
Yes! A breakthrough!
(TINK smiles)
There's always the park and the duck pond is fun.
TINK
The park might be a neat place.
DUDE
See. There's something.
TINK
(Sadly)
But, it's not home.
(DUDE sits in frustration and plops face down on
the ground)
I'm sorry. I'll try harder. I'm sure I can like it if I give it a chance.
DUDE
(Sits up)
No, no, no. It's okay. Not everyone has to like it.
TINK
I feel like I'm the only one that doesn't.
DUDE
Look at all the unicorns back home. They don't like it.
TINK
(Sadly)
Yeah.
DUDE
Not everyone was meant to like it here.
TINK
It seems like it.
DUDE
Well, they're not. I love cities. You love nature. Both are great, but not for both of us. Love what you have. It may not be there forever.
TINK
I have the city at the moment. Should I love it? Or should I love nature which I don't seem to have.
DUDE
Whoa. Hold on a minute. Don't make things more complicated than they are.
TINK
Sorry.
DUDE
Don't be sorry.
TINK
I'm sorry about a lot of things.
DUDE
Well, don't be. You already love nature, and you don't have to love the city while you're here.
TINK
I don't.
DUDE
No, of course not. But, if you feel you have to stay here, look for the good in it. Enjoy what's here. There's always the park...
TINK
(Smiles)
And the sunset.
DUDE
That's the spirit.
TINK
(Frowns)
I'd still rather be home.
DUDE
It's up to you whether you stay or not.
TINK
I'm sorry. I don't mean to tell you all my troubles.
DUDE
If it makes you feel better. Keep talkin'.
TINK
Thank you very much. I do feel better after talking to you.
DUDE
Good. I'm glad to be of service.
(Hops up on his box)
TINK
Will you stay and keep me company?
DUDE
(Throws his newfound scarf around his neck)
Can't. Gotta go.
TINK
What? You're leaving?
DUDE
Got places to go, trash cans to meet...
TINK
But, I'll be lonely again.
DUDE
(Goes to her. Kindly)
I really wish I could stay.
TINK
(Sadly)
I wish you could, too.
DUDE
I promise you I'll visit every chance I get.
TINK
Thank you.
DUDE
You bet.
TINK
I wish you could stay all the time, though.
DUDE
(Thoughtfully. Smiles)
Let me get back to you on that one. Maybe it would work out for this to be my main haunt.
TINK
(Happily)
That would be wonderful. I hope it works out.
DUDE
(Smiles)
Ya' know. I hope it does, too.
TINK
Having you here would make this place much more bearable.
DUDE
And maybe I might try your nature thing sometime, too.
(He starts to exit L)
TINK
Bye.
DUDE
See ya' soon.
(He exits L. Only the sounds of the city are
heard. TINK is alone. After watching DUDE go she
looks around sadly at the city. Then, she sees a
mud puddle in front of her)
TINK
Puddles.
(Playfully she splashes through them and skips
happily off R)
(Lights fade to black)
END OF PLAY
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