"MAKE ME A VAMPIRE"
by D. M. Larson
PART 2
(DUNLAP enters and sees RANDY)
DUNLAP
Randy? Is that you?
RANDY
Dunlap! How are you? It’s been forever.
DUNLAP
Not possible. You’re not immortal.
RANDY
Not yet.
DUNLAP
Come on, RANDY. You know no vampire in their right mind would make you one of us. No one can stomach your blood.
RANDY
Please, Dunlap. We used to be such good friends. Couldn’t you do this for me?
DUNLAP
Me? No, even if you didn’t have “B” blood, I couldn’t convert a friend. It’s too weird. Very ackward.
RANDY
You owe me, Dunlap. You remember that time in school when you cheated on a math test?
DUNLAP
You had to bring that up, didn’t you?
RANDY
You copied me because you wouldn’t be able to play sports with a failing grade. And when we got caught, you would have been thrown off the team all together for cheating. But I took the heat for you. I said it was all me. Now, it’s payback time. You are going to make me a vampire!
DUNLAP
Do you realize how horrible it is to make me do something like this? This is way worse than getting expelled from school.
RANDY
Helping a friend is worse?
DUNLAP
Stop twisting things around.
RANDY
Try to see it from my point of view. I’m one of the last living humans on Earth. There were not that many people with “B” blood to begin with and we’re getting older. Some have died off naturally. And frankly, the other humans don’t like me very much. They say I’m annoying.
DUNLAP
Even the “B’s” shun you?
RANDY
I’m all alone. No one wants anything to do with me.
DUNLAP
Fine, I’ll do it.
RANDY
Really? This means so much to me.
DUNLAP
I guess I’ll be one of those rare vampires who actually knows what “B” blood tastes like. Maybe I could get some special recognition for this and do a lecture tour of something. At the very least, I should do a video… it will go viral.
RANDY
Fine, fine. Whatever it takes. Anything.
DUNLAP
Hey, Ambrose. Come here.
(AMBROSE is at the edge of the stage and shakes his head no)
DUNLAP (CONT.)
Get over here. Don’t be afraid. He doesn’t bite.
(AMBROSE still shakes his head no)
RANDY
Not yet.
(DUNLAP gets him and hands him his phone)
DUNLAP
I want you to record this on FangFace Live.
(AMBROSE takes the camera in one hand but plugs nose with the other hand)
DUNLAP (CONT.)
I’m going to be the first vampire in a long time to try and drink “B” blood.
RANDY
So which side of my neck do you want?
DUNLAP
We’re just friends. I prefer the wrist.
(RANDY holds out arm. DUNLAP tries to prepare himself mentally)
DUNLAP
Here goes. Drinking the blood of a “B.”
(RANDY is still holding out his arm. DUNLAP tries to move closer but his face scrunches up at the terrible smell)
DUNLAP (CONT.)
The smell is making my eyes water. I’ve never been this close to a “B” since I’ve been a vampire. Oh, man. This is too much.
(DUNLAP is getting very sick. RANDY puts his arm in DUNLAP’s hands and lifts it to his face)
RANDY
Do it! Please!
(DUNLAP opens his mouth. AMBROSE faints and falls to the floor. Then DUNLAP coughs and throws his hand over his mouth and runs off stage)
RANDY (CONT.)
So close. I wonder if there is a vampire out there without a sense of smell?
(RANDY exits as lights fade to black)
END OF PLAY
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