For permission to use this script, contact doug@freedrama.net (include the title "Chocolate and Kisses" in your request).
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"Chocolate and Kisses" by D. M. Larson
(Dougie wants to get a chocolate bar he dropped out in traffic. Dougie wanders around off balance as the sounds of cars zip by honking. Rescue Woman rushes in saves him and takes him to sidewalk safely. Dougie enjoys being held by her)
DOUGIE
You saved me.
RESCUE
You were in quite a jam there.
DOUGIE
Are you...
(Rescue Woman does a proud stance)
RESCUE
Rescue Woman!
DOUGIE
Awesome!
RESCUE
I know.
DOUGIE
Wow! You're like prettier in person than in your pictures.
(Rescue Woman poses for him)
DOUGIE (CONT.)
I mean your pictures are totally hot but in person... yow!
RESCUE
I know.
DOUGIE
Can I get a picture with you?
RESCUE
Of course.
(Dougie gets out a strange looking camera. He gets next to her for a selfie. He does a funny pose next to her and takes a picture with the camera which has a bright flash. Rescue Woman suddenly looks faint)
DOUGIE
You okay?
RESCUE
I feel strange. Wait... what's going on?
(She falls to her knees weakly. Dougie giggles and Super Sheila enters and laughs an evil laugh)
SHEILA
Muwhahahaha!
RESCUE
What is this?
SHEILA
I know your weakness Rescue Woman. That camera flash exposed you to Gamma radiation.
RESCUE
No!
SHEILA
It cancels out your powers.
RESCUE
Who are you?
SHEILA
I am Super Sheila! Muwhahahah! Science over supers!
RESCUE
Super Sheila... Isn't that super girl? There already is one. Shouldn't you be Sheila the Science Skank (or Skunk) or something.
SHEILA
Skunk?
RESCUE
Because you stink.
(Dougie sniffs Sheila)
DOUGIE
She smells good to me.
RESCUE
You're creepy.
DOUGIE
I know.
SHEILA
I like creepy.
DOUGIE
And I like sexy. And you's super sexy Sheila.
RESCUE
That would be a better name too.
SHEILA
I'll consider it.
DOUGIE
Hee hee. Super Sexy.
SHEILA
You're a good minion Dougie. Here's your chocolates.
DOUGIE
I like chocolates. But I like kisses better.
SHEILA
Not now... not in front of the victim.
RESCUE
What do you plan to do with me?
SHEILA
Well... I suppose when the gamma radiation wears off you'll get your powers back.
RESCUE
Yes.
SHEILA
So we'll have to dispose of you quickly.
DOUGIE
Quick, quick, quickly!
SHEILA
Keep an eye on her for me, Dougie, while I check my gadget for something special for her.
DOUGIE
Special. Oh, I like the sound of that.
SHEILA
That's because you're special too. Now watch her and you'll get another chocolate.
DOUGIE
And a kiss?
SHEILA
Only if you're extra special.
DOUGIE
I'll be extra special. I promise. Cross my heart. Hope she dies.
(Dougie points at Rescue Woman on the last part and giggles. Sheila does an evil laugh and exits)
RESCUE
Oh, Dougie... you seem like a simple soul. Why are you with such an evil person?
DOUGIE
I like Sheila. She's... SEXY!
RESCUE
Wouldn't you rather be helping people? Doing something good?
(Dougie thinks a moment. It looks like it hurts to think.)
DOUGIE
Ummm... no. Sheila's fun.
RESCUE
Looks like you get plenty of chocolate from her.
DOUGIE
Yes, I do... yummy in my tummy.
RESCUE
I could give you kisses.
DOUGIE
Hmmm... no. Only Sheila kisses for Dougie.
RESCUE
Does Sheila give you lots of kisses?
DOUGIE
Hmmm.... no. I have to sneak my kisses... when she is asleep I sneak kisses... and when she is watching her favorite shows.
RESCUE
Let me go and I can give you lots of kisses.
DOUGIE
No.
RESCUE
Oh... how about something shiny?
DOUGIE
Shiny? And sparkly?
RESCUE
Very sparkly.
DOUGIE
Okay... show me.
RESCUE
Just come closer.
(Dougie looks around nervously and moves a little closer.)
DOUGIE
Oh... I love sparklies.
RESCUE
Close your eyes and I'll give it to you.
(Dougie closes his eyes and sticks out his hands. Rescue Woman sneaks away off stage. Dougie is there alone for a moment. Sheila enters and sees Rescue is gone. She goes up to him angrily)
SHEILA
Where is she?!
DOUGIE
Oh... oh... she promised me a sparkly.
SHEILA
You idiot!
DOUGIE
Sheila mad. Dougie bad.
SHEILA
Don't cry Dougie. I hate it when you cry.
DOUGIE
Dougie bad?!
SHEILA
Would you stop crying for a chocolate?
DOUGLIE
Dougie super bad!
SHEILA
Would you stop crying for a kiss?
(Dougie stops crying and nods)
DOUGIE
Dougie likes kisses.
SHEILA
Close your eyes.
DOUGIE
Okay.
(Dougie closes his eyes and makes kissy lips)
SHEILA
Come closer.
(Dougie scoots forward with kissy lips. She claps the connector of her new machine to his lips. Dougie opens is eyes, startled. She turns on the machine and Dougie is shocked. He spazzes out and then falls to the ground. Sheila leaves. Dougie finally says:)
DOUGIE
Wow! What a kiss!
END OF SCENE
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CAST OF CHARACTERS
DOUGIE - a dim-witted evil henchman
RESCUE - a local superhero
SHEILA - an evil villain who wants to stop Rescue woman
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