Thursday, July 13, 2017

"The Paparazzi Fart" funny monologue for actors

by D. M. Larson
from the play "Losers in Love"
  ISBN: 9781549653186

Have you ever farted in front of a fan? I call it a paparazzi, because farting in front of a fan is like some terrible stalker that follows you and you can’t escape.  

The worst one I’ve ever done was my first. I had the ultimate silent but deadly gas bomb seep from me. I happened to be standing in front of a fan at the time. The results were glorious.

This ultimate gas passing experience was a mix of nerves and a bean burrito, one of those frozen burritos that are made from the cheapest mystery beans ever grown. I wanted to talk to my teacher about something personal and there was only a short time before the whole class would get back from gym. I snuck out early so I could talk to the teacher alone. It was a hot day in May and the teacher had a big fan pointed at the classroom to keep things cool. As I approached, I felt my stomach churn and deposit something painful into my bowels. I bent forward a bit and my teacher looked concerned. I started talking to hide the noise of the gas escaping out of me. At first I was thankful it was silent, but then I realized I was standing in front of the fan and the whole class walked in. The deadliest bottom sewage smell I ever produced oozed from me and filled the air. Students screamed and gasped. Chaos swarmed the room. I looked at the teacher who couldn’t tell what was going on since he was on the other side of the fan. The class struggled into their desks with their noses pinched and mouths moaning.

I don’t even remember what I wanted to talk to my teacher about, but I sure remember that fart. It was glorious.


Buy a low cost PDF of the full play "Losers in Love"
Buy now

Important Copyright Notice

These scripts may be used for FREE but PLEASE do NOT repost the TEXT of any script online in any way. Students, actors, teachers and student may use the scripts for acting or classroom activities and even videos, but do NOT repost them on the internet. Please link to the scripts on the website. We love that! But these scripts are published and protected by copyright (c) 2001-2017 so do not upload the entire text of a script. Performing the scripts for an audience or on a video is totally okay. Just be sure to credit the author and our website ( Thank you!

Blog post on how copying our scripts without permission hurts us as writers

Freedrama provides free stage play scripts for actors, directors, teachers and students. Our free theatre resources are for both schools and theatre groups.  Freedrama also has free help for new actors including a no cost online acting school. Improve your acting and communication skills with our variety of educational materials including improv drama games and fun learning activities such as MadScripts.


POPULAR Free Stage Play Scripts

Free MONOLOGUES for 1 Actor

Free Monologues for one TEEN Actor

Free One Act and Full Length Plays for TEEN Actors

Free SHORT Stage Play Scripts and SKITS

Short Monologues

Free FUNNY Short Stage Play Scripts and COMEDY Skits

Funny Comedy Monologues

Free DUOLOGUES for 2 Actors

Free ONE ACT Plays

Free One Act and Full Length Plays for CHILDREN

Free Monologues for KIDS

Short Plays for CHILDREN

Full Length Plays

Small cast plays for CHILDREN

Short FILM scripts for video

Free Online ACTING School and Tips for New Actors

IMPROV Theatre Games

MadScripts Fill in the Blank Classroom GAMES

Classroom Ideas for TEACHERS

School Plays with Low Cost PDF version and 100% Free Script Previews


No comments:

Post a Comment

Freedrama Quiz!

Popular Posts