Wednesday, September 17, 2014

"Death by Dollars" comedy monologue about a guy who is super sized (scene for male actor)

Free humorous monologue for male actor from published play "My William Shatner Man Crush"


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"Death by Dollars" by D. M. Larson

Randy

Do you ever get winded putting on your shoes? That's me.. I do. I'm fatty McFat Fat.  I got super sized at Mickey D's, crowned at BK and supremed at the Bell. I am the all American consumer, consumed by convenience.


I blame them... I do... They make it too easy... And cheap.  That's me. Cheap and easy.  I am a dollar menu fanatic.  I will eat anything for a buck.  That's my motto.

But is it death by dollars? I wonder if the dollar menus are killing me?


But who can afford to eat right? I went in to one of them healthy places once.  The cheapest thing in there was a grilled cheese sandwich and they wanted $5 for it!  $5 for a grilled cheese!   Maybe I could make super healthy pb and j's and sell them outside them ripoff restaurants... 


(Calling out to invisible customers)


Gourmet super healthy pbj for $4! And that $4 would get me a dollar menu feast.... Spicy chicken burger... fries... ice cold cola... and some pie.  Dollar menu heaven.   I'm getting kind of hungry.  Gonna get me a spicy chicken sandwich while they last.  

(Starts to rush but gets winded and grabs chest)  

If yesterday's $1 nuggets don't do me in on the way there.




END OF SCENE
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This monologue is from the published play "My William Shatner Man Crush" available on Amazon.com:



Purchase a low cost PDF of the full play at Sellfy.com
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