Wednesday, September 17, 2014

"Death by Dollars" comedy monologue about a guy who is super sized (scene for male actor)

Free humorous monologue for male actor from published play "My William Shatner Man Crush"


"Death by Dollars" by D. M. Larson


Do you ever get winded putting on your shoes? That's me.. I do. I'm fatty McFat Fat.  I got super sized at Mickey D's, crowned at BK and supremed at the Bell. I am the all American consumer, consumed by convenience.

I blame them... I do... They make it too easy... And cheap.  That's me. Cheap and easy.  I am a dollar menu fanatic.  I will eat anything for a buck.  That's my motto.

But is it death by dollars? I wonder if the dollar menus are killing me?

But who can afford to eat right? I went in to one of them healthy places once.  The cheapest thing in there was a grilled cheese sandwich and they wanted $5 for it!  $5 for a grilled cheese!   Maybe I could make super healthy pb and j's and sell them outside them ripoff restaurants... 

(Calling out to invisible customers)

Gourmet super healthy pbj for $4! And that $4 would get me a dollar menu feast.... Spicy chicken burger... fries... ice cold cola... and some pie.  Dollar menu heaven.   I'm getting kind of hungry.  Gonna get me a spicy chicken sandwich while they last.  

(Starts to rush but gets winded and grabs chest)  

If yesterday's $1 nuggets don't do me in on the way there.


This monologue is from the published play "My William Shatner Man Crush" available on

Purchase a low cost PDF of the full play at


Find more monologues at
More monologues for males:

More comedy monologues:


  1. Wow. Awesome article. Please do more articles like this in the future. Very informational and knowledgeable. I will expect more from you in the future. For now i will just bookmark your page and surely I'm gonna come back later to read more. Thank you to the writer!


    1. I am happy you enjoyed the monologue. There are many more to see at as well.


Copyright and Royalty

These scripts are published and protected by Copyright (c) 2001-2019.

When you purchase a PDF, you may make as many photocopies as needed (but please do NOT repost online in any way).

Purchasing a PDF of this script gives you the rights to use for:





If you use the script in a paid performance where admission is charged or in a competition, please pay the royalty:

This royalty covers all performances that occur within one month’s time.

IMPORTANT: Please be sure to get permission from your competition for the script before performing it.

Popular Posts

Acting Tips for New Actors from Professionals