"Operation Redneck" is the story of three friends (Julie, Beth and Tina) who are roommates. Julie is dating a city boy named Jacob and he wants to visit her in the small town she lives in. She is worried about him fitting in and everyone want to help Jacob by turning him into the ultimate redneck like Tina's boyfriend JJ.
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“THE LITTLE BOY WHO LIKES BEER”
by D. M. Larson
(from "Operation Redneck")
JJ: What is this all about anyway? Both of you are acting weird.
BETH: It's nothing, JJ. Drink your beer.
JJ: Wait a minute. I can put two and two together...
BETH: What'd you get? Three?
JJ: First, there's that perfect couple contest, then Tina wants to "talk", and then grilling Julie's Pa about marriage. I'm starting to see the writing on the stall!
TINA: JJ, don't get upset. It's not like that.
JJ: This is your way of dropping hints about us, ain't it Tina?
TINA: (Looks to BETH for help) Well!
JJ: Don't worry, sugar plum. I understand. Now I ain't in a position to be, buying rings just yet, but I know that when that time comes, there's a perfectly cut cubic zirconium in your future, baby.
TINA: Oh, JJ. Really?
BETH: Wow, JJ. You found us out. Yes, Tina was worried you weren't as insanely in love with her as she is with you.
JJ: (Smiles at TINA) Insane huh?
TINA: Totally and completely.
BETH: You've both got to be.
JJ: Once I'm rich and famous, I'm gonna make you Mrs. JJ Bean.
BETH: Just in time for retirement huh? (JJ and TINA are too wrapped up in each other to hear her).
TINA: You know. You could probably make enough money if you'd go work at your Uncle's Come and Go mini-market.
JJ: He won't let me work there unless I get my GED.
TINA: But he said he'd make you a night manager.
JJ: To be a night manager, he'll make me go take some classes at the community college. It's just too hard.
JULIE: I'm back. (Enters with groceries)
JJ: Hey! Food.
JULIE: It's not for you.
JJ: Who's it for?
JULIE: If you must know, it's for my boyfriend.
JJ: Ooooh. Julie's got a boyfriend. Julie's got a boyfriend.
JULIE: (To TINA) How old is he?
TINA: He's still a little boy inside.
JJ: Yea, a little boy who likes beer. Can I have another one? (Looks in grocery bag)
JULIE: No, go home.
JJ: Aw, man.
JULIE: Go mooch off your mom and dad for awhile.
JJ: But they won't give me beer. My ma hogs it all.
BETH: I guess it runs in the family. (JJ exits)
END OF SCENE
Read the entire play at: http://www.freedrama.net/opred.html