GOODBYE TO NEVERLAND
By D. M. Larson
Copyright © 2016
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PART 2 - MOUTH TO MOUTH
(RANDY picks up some weights and tries exercising)
How do you guys do this? Why do you do this? I have never felt this terrible before in my entire life. This is good for you? Are you sure? I think I am dying. All this exercise has to be harming me in some way.
I thought maybe the gym would be a good place to meet women. There’s lots of hot chicks here but I don't like the way they look at me… maybe they're worried about me... I don't feel so good... Maybe if I pass out one of them will feel sorry for me and give me mouth to mouth…
No. I need to focus. I need to focus on why I am here. I am here to improve myself… To make myself better. To make myself desirable for one woman… A wonderful woman I care deeply for.
You know that saying… love is blind? I never really understood that until I met Marianne. I love her and she’s blind… well, legally blind and wears these thick glasses. But somehow that makes it easier. I don't have to worry as much about what I look like.
Maybe it’s better she can’t really see me very well. I don’t think most girls can get past what I really look like. I mean I’m not ugly but I’m not a hunk either. I guess part of me worries that Marianne’s eyes will get better and she’ll see me for what I really am... A guy less good looking than other guys.
I worry that I will lose her... except I don't even really have her... we’ve talked... had coffee... shared some moments... more moments than I ever had before… but no kissing or touching really. Except for the one time she touched me on the shoulder... it felt like lightening... I loved her touch. I haven't washed that spot since... I want to keep feeling her and never let that feeling go.
And I want more but I am afraid to ask until I am good enough... until I am worthy of her.
I want her to be proud to be seen by my side. I don’t want people to think she is with a loser because she is with a guy like me.
I want to be something different... something other people will like better than what I am now.
So here I go. Get ready for some exercising, because I'm ready to rumble.
Never mind. I can't do this. I am definitely dying. Somebody please call 911.
END OF MONOLOGUE 2