“Police Line Do Not Cross” by D. M. Larson
For permission to use this play, contact doug@freedrama.net (please include the title "Police Line Do Not Cross" in the request).
(People are gathered outside a hospital.
A yellow police tape is holding them upstage)
KELLY
What’s going on?
HANK
Something happened.
KELLY
I can see that. WHAT happened?
HANK
I don’t know.
KELLY
Anyone here know what’s going on?
(No one knows)
KELLY
I’m going in.
OFFICER
Wait a minute… what are you doing?
KELLY
I work here.
OFFICER
You can’t go in there.
KELLY
What’s happening?
(OFFICER gets a radio call)
OFFICER
Get back behind the tape.
(OFFICER runs off)
(People have cell phones out)
KELLY
What are you all doing?
HANK
Hoping we get something on video.
KELLY
That all you care you about? Aren’t you worried?
HANK
Worried I’ll miss all the action.
KELLY
People could be hurt in there… or sick… I hate not knowing what is going on.
HANK
Look! There’s people coming out.
(He and others start recording with their cell phones)
See any blood?
KELLY
You’re sick.
HANK
Oh! Say that again on camera.
(KELLY takes his phone and throws it)
KELLY
There’s an aerial shot for you.
HANK
Hey!
(he chases after his phone)
OFFICER
Show me your hands!
You! Drop it! Now!
(EDNA enters with stuff in her arms and freaks out and doesn’t know what to do)
KELLY
Stop! Stop! Don’t shoot her!
(KELLY runs and defends EDNA)
OFFICER
What are you doing? I could have shot you.
HANK
Shoot her, please! I need something good for YouTube. Shoot, shoot, shoot!
OFFICER
Back off you…
HANK
I’m being oppressed! The cop is man-handling me… I’m being oppressed!
(OFFICER drags off HANK)
KELLY
It’s okay, Edna. He won’t hurt you.
EDNA
I had to save my collection. I couldn’t let anything happen to my collection.
KELLY
I know your collection is very important to you.
EDNA
I should have left them at home… I thought they’d be safe at work. Everyone loves seeing them… I love sharing them, but I never thought they’d be in danger.
KELLY
What’s happening in there? What’s going on?
(OFFICER returns)
EDNA
I don’t know… there was lots of screaming and everyone starting running. Someone grabbed me and told me to get out. I couldn’t leave my collection though.
OFFICER
You could have been hurt though lady. You should drop everything and run when there is danger. And keep your hands free. I could have shot you. I didn’t know if you had a weapon.
KELLY
Hey, wait a minute. You don’t even have a gun.
OFFICER
Shhh! Not so loud.
KELLY
What’s the deal?
OFFICER
I’m in training okay. But they wanted every available officer here. That’s why I’m not inside though.
KELLY
I really wish I knew what was going on. Are you sure didn’t see anything Edna?
EDNA
There was something weird. There was this guy who kept pacing around the hallways. He seemed very agitated. He’d sit for a moment and then jump up and pace. He tried reading a magazine and then threw it. He was scary.
OFFICER
Did you report it?
EDNA
What? No, I didn’t think it was my job to.
OFFICER
It’s everyone’s job to report something suspicious.
EDNA
I didn’t want to make waves. I didn’t want to cause problems.
OFFICER
What if that’s the guy that causing problems in there now… if you’d reported him…
KELLY
Leave her alone. Can’t you see she’s already upset?
OFFICER
Fine… take her through… get her out of here.
(HANK has snuck back and has his phone out again recording)
EDNA
Oh, no. I left one.
OFFICER
One what?
KELLY
Something from her collection.
EDNA
I must have dropped one. I have to go back.
OFFICER
No way.
EDNA
I can’t leave it behind.
(EDNA runs back)
OFFICER
Stop!
(OFFICER chases her)
HANK
Why doesn’t he shoot her?!
KELLY
Why doesn’t he shoot you?
HANK
I’d settle for that.
KELLY
I think there’s a much better angle for you… over there.
(Takes his phone and throws it)
HANK
Stop doing that?!
(HANK goes after his phone – OFFICER enters carrying EDNA or trying to – or pulling her)
EDNA
Leave me alone! Let me go!
(EDNA escapes – OFFICER goes – OFFICER returns with her collection)
EDNA
Give those back.
(OFFICER runs and EDNA chases)
HANK
Did I miss anything?
KELLY
You missed everything. You can go home now.
HANK
I think you’re lying.
KELLY
I think you’re annoying.
HANK
I don’t like you.
KELLY
I don’t like you either.
(OFFICER returns – he still has Edna’s collection – EDNA is sneaking through the crowd and hides behind HANK)
OFFICER
Where did she go?
(EDNA jumps out)
EDNA
Got you!
OFFICER
Hey!
HANK
This is good!
OFFICER
I can arrest you for this!
EDNA
Go ahead and try!
(OFFICER falls down tired. EDNA gets her collection and runs)
KELLY
Maybe you should consider a different career choice.
OFFICER
Maybe… I like cooking… maybe I could be a chef or something.
HANK
Go get her! She’s getting away! We can do like an action shot with you chasing her. When you catch her, knock her down and kick her or something.
OFFICER
As long as she doesn’t go back inside, I’m done with her.
(EDNA runs back inside)
EDNA
I’m coming!
OFFICER
She went back inside.
(OFFICER chases after her)
(EDNA returns)
EDNA
It’s the scary man!
OFFICER
Stop right there!
HANK
He’s running.
OFFICER
Why does no one listen to me?
HANK
Go get him! Shoot him! Something… please!
(OFFICER runs – HANK tries to follow)
HANK
Chase scene!
(KELLY grabs his phone)
KELLY
He went that-a-way.
(KELLY throws it the other direction)
HANK
Curse you!
KELLY
So are you sure that’s the guy?
EDNA
Yup.
KELLY
I wonder what he did?
EDNA
I don’t know.
KELLY
Where’d you put your collection?
EDNA
In my car.
KELLY
How’d you get a parking spot so close to the hospital?
EDNA
I have a special sticker.
KELLY
How’d you get that?
EDNA
I will never tell.
KELLY
Look! He got him!
EDNA
I don’t believe it.
KELLY
It looks like he tripped and fell on him.
EDNA
Still caught him.
KELLY
The real police are there now. They’re cuffing the crook.
EDNA
Aw… how cute. They are patting our guy on the back and shaking his hand.
KELLY
He’s a hero.
EDNA
Our hero.
KELLY
Local boy done good.
EDNA
I want his autograph.
(OFFICER returns)
OFFICER
Alright everyone. Nothing to see here. Back about your business.
(any extras leave)
KELLY
You stopped the bad guy.
OFFICER
I found this too.
EDNA
My rare wooggie whitchet! You found it! You’re the greatest!
KELLY
Maybe you did pick the right career after all.
OFFICER
Maybe I did.
KELLY
We’re lucky to have you protecting us.
OFFICER
Just doing my job.
EDNA
Sorry I was so difficult… I feel bad now… want to arrest me?
(EDNA holds out her hands)
OFFICER
I’ll let you off with a warning.
EDNA
You sure? I’ve been very bad.
OFFICER
I’m sure.
(OFFICER and EDNA leave)
(HANK runs back in)
HANK
Did I miss anything?
KELLY
You missed everything.
HANK
Really?
KELLY
But it was a happy ending.
HANK
I hate happy endings. I’m glad I missed it.
KELLY
Did I break your phone?
HANK
Maybe.
KELLY
Good. (KELLY leaves and HANK calls after her)
HANK (CONT.)
I thought nurses were supposed to be nice.
(KELLY returns and throws his phone again and then leaves)
HANK
I guess not.
END
For permission to use this play, contact doug@freedrama.net (please include the title "Police Line Do Not Cross" in the request).
(People are gathered outside a hospital.
A yellow police tape is holding them upstage)
KELLY
What’s going on?
HANK
Something happened.
KELLY
I can see that. WHAT happened?
HANK
I don’t know.
KELLY
Anyone here know what’s going on?
(No one knows)
KELLY
I’m going in.
OFFICER
Wait a minute… what are you doing?
KELLY
I work here.
OFFICER
You can’t go in there.
KELLY
What’s happening?
(OFFICER gets a radio call)
OFFICER
Get back behind the tape.
(OFFICER runs off)
(People have cell phones out)
KELLY
What are you all doing?
HANK
Hoping we get something on video.
KELLY
That all you care you about? Aren’t you worried?
HANK
Worried I’ll miss all the action.
KELLY
People could be hurt in there… or sick… I hate not knowing what is going on.
HANK
Look! There’s people coming out.
(He and others start recording with their cell phones)
See any blood?
KELLY
You’re sick.
HANK
Oh! Say that again on camera.
(KELLY takes his phone and throws it)
KELLY
There’s an aerial shot for you.
HANK
Hey!
(he chases after his phone)
OFFICER
Show me your hands!
You! Drop it! Now!
(EDNA enters with stuff in her arms and freaks out and doesn’t know what to do)
KELLY
Stop! Stop! Don’t shoot her!
(KELLY runs and defends EDNA)
OFFICER
What are you doing? I could have shot you.
HANK
Shoot her, please! I need something good for YouTube. Shoot, shoot, shoot!
OFFICER
Back off you…
HANK
I’m being oppressed! The cop is man-handling me… I’m being oppressed!
(OFFICER drags off HANK)
KELLY
It’s okay, Edna. He won’t hurt you.
EDNA
I had to save my collection. I couldn’t let anything happen to my collection.
KELLY
I know your collection is very important to you.
EDNA
I should have left them at home… I thought they’d be safe at work. Everyone loves seeing them… I love sharing them, but I never thought they’d be in danger.
KELLY
What’s happening in there? What’s going on?
(OFFICER returns)
EDNA
I don’t know… there was lots of screaming and everyone starting running. Someone grabbed me and told me to get out. I couldn’t leave my collection though.
OFFICER
You could have been hurt though lady. You should drop everything and run when there is danger. And keep your hands free. I could have shot you. I didn’t know if you had a weapon.
KELLY
Hey, wait a minute. You don’t even have a gun.
OFFICER
Shhh! Not so loud.
KELLY
What’s the deal?
OFFICER
I’m in training okay. But they wanted every available officer here. That’s why I’m not inside though.
KELLY
I really wish I knew what was going on. Are you sure didn’t see anything Edna?
EDNA
There was something weird. There was this guy who kept pacing around the hallways. He seemed very agitated. He’d sit for a moment and then jump up and pace. He tried reading a magazine and then threw it. He was scary.
OFFICER
Did you report it?
EDNA
What? No, I didn’t think it was my job to.
OFFICER
It’s everyone’s job to report something suspicious.
EDNA
I didn’t want to make waves. I didn’t want to cause problems.
OFFICER
What if that’s the guy that causing problems in there now… if you’d reported him…
KELLY
Leave her alone. Can’t you see she’s already upset?
OFFICER
Fine… take her through… get her out of here.
(HANK has snuck back and has his phone out again recording)
EDNA
Oh, no. I left one.
OFFICER
One what?
KELLY
Something from her collection.
EDNA
I must have dropped one. I have to go back.
OFFICER
No way.
EDNA
I can’t leave it behind.
(EDNA runs back)
OFFICER
Stop!
(OFFICER chases her)
HANK
Why doesn’t he shoot her?!
KELLY
Why doesn’t he shoot you?
HANK
I’d settle for that.
KELLY
I think there’s a much better angle for you… over there.
(Takes his phone and throws it)
HANK
Stop doing that?!
(HANK goes after his phone – OFFICER enters carrying EDNA or trying to – or pulling her)
EDNA
Leave me alone! Let me go!
(EDNA escapes – OFFICER goes – OFFICER returns with her collection)
EDNA
Give those back.
(OFFICER runs and EDNA chases)
HANK
Did I miss anything?
KELLY
You missed everything. You can go home now.
HANK
I think you’re lying.
KELLY
I think you’re annoying.
HANK
I don’t like you.
KELLY
I don’t like you either.
(OFFICER returns – he still has Edna’s collection – EDNA is sneaking through the crowd and hides behind HANK)
OFFICER
Where did she go?
(EDNA jumps out)
EDNA
Got you!
OFFICER
Hey!
HANK
This is good!
OFFICER
I can arrest you for this!
EDNA
Go ahead and try!
(OFFICER falls down tired. EDNA gets her collection and runs)
KELLY
Maybe you should consider a different career choice.
OFFICER
Maybe… I like cooking… maybe I could be a chef or something.
HANK
Go get her! She’s getting away! We can do like an action shot with you chasing her. When you catch her, knock her down and kick her or something.
OFFICER
As long as she doesn’t go back inside, I’m done with her.
(EDNA runs back inside)
EDNA
I’m coming!
OFFICER
She went back inside.
(OFFICER chases after her)
(EDNA returns)
EDNA
It’s the scary man!
OFFICER
Stop right there!
HANK
He’s running.
OFFICER
Why does no one listen to me?
HANK
Go get him! Shoot him! Something… please!
(OFFICER runs – HANK tries to follow)
HANK
Chase scene!
(KELLY grabs his phone)
KELLY
He went that-a-way.
(KELLY throws it the other direction)
HANK
Curse you!
KELLY
So are you sure that’s the guy?
EDNA
Yup.
KELLY
I wonder what he did?
EDNA
I don’t know.
KELLY
Where’d you put your collection?
EDNA
In my car.
KELLY
How’d you get a parking spot so close to the hospital?
EDNA
I have a special sticker.
KELLY
How’d you get that?
EDNA
I will never tell.
KELLY
Look! He got him!
EDNA
I don’t believe it.
KELLY
It looks like he tripped and fell on him.
EDNA
Still caught him.
KELLY
The real police are there now. They’re cuffing the crook.
EDNA
Aw… how cute. They are patting our guy on the back and shaking his hand.
KELLY
He’s a hero.
EDNA
Our hero.
KELLY
Local boy done good.
EDNA
I want his autograph.
(OFFICER returns)
OFFICER
Alright everyone. Nothing to see here. Back about your business.
(any extras leave)
KELLY
You stopped the bad guy.
OFFICER
I found this too.
EDNA
My rare wooggie whitchet! You found it! You’re the greatest!
KELLY
Maybe you did pick the right career after all.
OFFICER
Maybe I did.
KELLY
We’re lucky to have you protecting us.
OFFICER
Just doing my job.
EDNA
Sorry I was so difficult… I feel bad now… want to arrest me?
(EDNA holds out her hands)
OFFICER
I’ll let you off with a warning.
EDNA
You sure? I’ve been very bad.
OFFICER
I’m sure.
(OFFICER and EDNA leave)
(HANK runs back in)
HANK
Did I miss anything?
KELLY
You missed everything.
HANK
Really?
KELLY
But it was a happy ending.
HANK
I hate happy endings. I’m glad I missed it.
KELLY
Did I break your phone?
HANK
Maybe.
KELLY
Good. (KELLY leaves and HANK calls after her)
HANK (CONT.)
I thought nurses were supposed to be nice.
(KELLY returns and throws his phone again and then leaves)
HANK
I guess not.
END
