"THE PAIN!" a scene selection for two actors
from a published play by D. M. Larson
(HOWARD is a shy nerdy guy and ASHLEY is a young beauty queen. ASHLEY is temporarily blinded by some unknown substance and HOWARD is taking care of her)
HOWARD
Hi.
ASHLEY
Thanks for being here to help, Howard. I hope you're not that creepy guy outside that drooled on the window when he saw me?
HOWARD
No.
ASHLEY
Oh, good. So how come I don't remember you from school?
HOWARD
I... I don't know.
ASHLEY
You're shy. That's why. I think that's so cute.
HOWARD
Oh...
ASHLEY
Take my hand please and lead me to a chair.
HOWARD
Sure.
(Howard looks very happy to be holding her hand. He walks her to a chair - a spot with two chairs and a table).
ASHLEY
You will take good care of me won't you Howard?
(Howard smiles)
HOWARD
Yes, of course.
ASHLEY
Thanks so much for helping me, Howard. I must look terrible.
HOWARD
No, you look... good.
ASHLEY
You're so sweet. Could you get my purse for me? I might have eye drops in there. That could help.
HOWARD
Do you remember where you left it?
ASHLEY
No.. silly me.. but I'm sure a smart guy like you can find it.
HOWARD
Okay...
(Howard searches around for purse as Ashley talks)
ASHLEY
It's nice having a guy around who is so helpful. I could get used to having someone around who does things for me like this. I don't mean like a servant but as my special little helper. Especially if I'm blind now... you think I'll be blind forever? I wonder if they have Miss Blind USA? Or maybe I'd be a shoe-in for Miss America if I'm blind. So this could be a blessing in disguise. You could be up there on stage with me guiding me around... I wonder if that's against the rules... I could get a cute little guide dog. People love animals too. A blind girl with a dog. I'd win for sure. Still haven't found my purse? I wonder where it went to.
I hope Joe didn't take it. I have no clue why he would be you never know. You're such a good listener. I like that. Most the guys I hang out with just want to talk about themselves. They love talking about their bodies and their muscles and how they work out all the time or how they won the big game doing a touch basket or a win down or some such stupidity. Don't you hate it when someone always talks about themselves non-stop?
(Howard sees the purse. He goes up and gets it)
HOWARD
I found it.
ASHLEY
Great! I knew you could do it. Now find my eye drops.
(Howard pulls weird silly things from her purse like bows, ribbons, makeup, little stuffed animals until he finds them)
HOWARD
This kind of looks like eye drops but...
(Ashley reaches out and Howard gives it to her)
ASHLEY
That feels right.
HOWARD
You sure? It has...
ASHLEY
Of course I'm sure silly. Now let's see if this helps my eyes.
(Ashley puts in the drops. Pause. Ashley screams. Ashley jumps up and stumbles around in pain)
HOWARD
What happened?
ASHLEY
It burns! My eyes are on fire!
(Ashley screams some more. Howard tries to grab her and calm her down but she keeps punching him and knocking him down)
ASHLEY
The pain!
END OF SCENE
***
From the scene "Blinded by the Knight"
in the published play "Between Good and Evil" by D. M. Larson
