Bad Air (Texas)
(aka "We'll Always Have Amarillo")
by D. M. Larson
(aka "We'll Always Have Amarillo")
by D. M. Larson
Part 1
ACT I Scene 1
(Amarillo Airport. Audience sees behind the counter of a not so major airline: AirCraphvia. The counter is a horseshoe shape center stage. Computer terminals face UR and UL so the ticket agents don’t have their backs to the audience. Customers approach the terminals from UC and stand in the middle of the horseshoe. The DC part of the horseshoe counter is very low for bags to be placed on. This is their Amarillo office offering flights to Eastern Europe. The airline workers are dressed in extremely nice shirts complete with badges, insignia and even a few medals. They have shiny black hats. But they are wearing an assortment of bright colored shorts and sandals. It is late evening and not many people are around. CAMI is full figured and knows how use it. CAMI watches invisible customers go by. RICK enters)
RICK
Hey, Cami. Slow night?
CAMI
It's always slow here, Rick. Nobody wants to fly on AirCrappy.
RICK
AirCraphvia, Cami.
(Said Air-Craff-via)
You know you’re not supposed it call it AirCrappy anymore. It’s not good for business.
CAMI
Don’t worry. We haven’t had any customers to scare away tonight.
RICK
Maybe it's because our pilots keep running into mountains.
CAMI
It only happened once or twice.
RICK
Three times.
CAMI
What are the chances it will happen again?
RICK
You don't want me to answer that.
CAMI
(Waves at invisible customers)
Still plenty of seats on tonight's flight!
(Waves at different customers)
Free drinks after midnight.
(Frustrated)
Nothing works.
RICK
Have you tried everything?
CAMI
Almost...
RICK
What haven't you tried?
CAMI
Set right up, folks and fly with me! I’m ready and willing.
(CAMI smiles at passing invisible customer)
Well, hello there stranger. Going my way?
(Pouts when he moves on)
He looked interested.
RICK
But his wife sure didn't.
(Phone rings)
A customer.
CAMI
(Closer to phone)
Oh, Rick. Would you get that?
RICK
You're closer.
CAMI
Oh, please, Rick. I just did my nails.
GO TO PART 2
You can purchase a low cost PDF of the play "We'll Always Have Amarillo" (aka Bad Air Texas at Sellfy.com
You can purchase a low cost PDF of the play "We'll Always Have Amarillo" (aka Bad Air Texas at Sellfy.com
