CORPORAL WAYNE AND MAJOR PAIN by D. M. Larson
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(WAYNE wears a soldier’s uniform and is packing things into a duffle bag.
NICK, a younger brother, watches him from behind something.
WAYNE smiles and holds up his phone like a walkie-talkie)
NICK, a younger brother, watches him from behind something.
WAYNE smiles and holds up his phone like a walkie-talkie)
WAYNE: This is Corporal Jones contacting command.
I’m detecting an unknown entity in my perimeter.
I’m detecting an unknown entity in my perimeter.
NICK: It’s just me, Wayne.
WAYNE: I can never be too careful.
NICK: What’s a corple?
WAYNE: Corporal. Two stripes.
(WAYNE points to the two stripes on his arm)
NICK: Does that mean you’re in charge?
WAYNE: Not really.
NICK: So who’s in charge?
WAYNE: Lots of people. Sergeants, lieutenants…
NICK: Captains?
WAYNE: Yes, sir. And majors.
NICK: I’m a major.
WAYNE: Really? I didn’t know that.
NICK: Yup. The army called me and made me a major.
WAYNE: So that’s how you become a major?
I always wondered how that happened.
I always wondered how that happened.
NICK: I’m your boss now and you have to do everything I say.
(WAYNE stands at attention and salutes)
WAYNE: Yes, sir.
(NICK tries to look tough and tall. He salutes back).
NICK: I order you to get me a juice.
WAYNE: Yes, sir.
(WAYNE rushes off and brings back a juice box)
NICK: And an apple.
WAYNE: Sir, yes, sir.
(WAYNE rushes out and gets an apple)
NICK: Now drop and give me a 1,000.
WAYNE: A 1,000?
NICK: How about 5?
WAYNE: Yes, sir.
(WAYNE drops to the floor and does 5 push ups)
NICK: I saw that in a movie once.
(WAYNE finishes and stands at attention)
WAYNE: Yes, sir.
NICK: Can you say anything else to a major?
WAYNE: Yes, sir.
NICK: Like what?
WAYNE: No, sir.
NICK: That’s it?
WAYNE: No, ma’am.
NICK: It’s like a game. Speaking of games.
I order you to go get Monopoly. I want to play.
I order you to go get Monopoly. I want to play.
(WAYNE breaks out of his soldier routine)
WAYNE: Sorry, Nick, but I have to go soon.
(NICK gets angry)
NICK: But I ordered you! I’m a major!
WAYNE: My ride will be here soon. I have to go.
(NICK’s eyes fill with angry tears)
NICK: No, I order you to stay!
WAYNE: What is wrong with you?
NICK: I don’t want you to go.
(NICK hugs WAYNE with all his strength)
WAYNE: I’m really sorry, but they need me.
NICK: I need you more.
WAYNE: Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon.
NICK: Will you?
WAYNE: What do you mean?
NICK: What if you get hurt?
(WAYNE pauses and looks worried. He sits down with NICK
and tries to get him to make eye contact)
and tries to get him to make eye contact)
WAYNE: Is that why you are so upset? Because you’re worried I won’t come back.
(NICK cries as he speaks)
NICK: I saw it on the news. They said some soldiers got hurt.
I don’t want you to get hurt.
I don’t want you to get hurt.
WAYNE: Don’t worry. I’ll be okay.
NICK: But what if you’re not. What if one of those majors is stupid
and tells you to do something bad and you get hurt? I won’t let them.
I order you to stop. I order you to stay home!
and tells you to do something bad and you get hurt? I won’t let them.
I order you to stop. I order you to stay home!
(NICK cries and WAYNE holds him until he calms down)
WAYNE: I’m so sorry, Nick. But I have to go.
NICK: I know.
(NICK wipes away his tears and gets up. He gets WAYNE”s bag,
hugs it and then gives it to WAYNE)
hugs it and then gives it to WAYNE)
WAYNE: That’s my brave soldier.
NICK: I have something for you. Please wait a second while I get it.
Please don’t leave yet.
Please don’t leave yet.
(NICK exits. WAYNE looks at his phone and then goes to the window to look outside.
He sees someone and waves. NICK returns).
He sees someone and waves. NICK returns).
WAYNE: My ride is here.
NICK: I have something for you. It will protect you.
(NICK gives WAYNE a coin)
WAYNE: Isn’t this your lucky coin?
NICK: Yes, it helps me get good grades and helped get a free milkshake once.
WAYNE: You’re giving it to me.
NICK: It will protect you. It will keep you safe.
WAYNE: And get me free milkshakes?
(They laugh and cry)
NICK: Yes.
WAYNE: Thank you, Nick. I love you.
NICK: I love you too, Wayne. So much.
WAYNE: I will see you soon.
(NICK takes WAYNE’s hand, the one holding the lucky coin, and holds it to his ear)
NICK: The lucky coin says yes.
(They hug, and then WAYNE exits. NICK goes to the window and salutes)
LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK
THE END
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****************
COPYRIGHT
These scripts are published and protected by Copyright (c) 2001-2019.
When you purchase a PDF, you may make as many photocopies as needed
(but please do NOT repost the text online in any way).
Purchasing a PDF of this script gives you the rights to use for:
Auditions
Classrooms
Workshops
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If you use the script in a paid performance where admission is charged or in a competition, please pay the royalty:
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This royalty covers all performances that occur within one month’s time.
IMPORTANT: Please be sure to get permission from your competition for the script before performing it.
https://sellfy.com/p/lys7xq/
****************
COPYRIGHT
These scripts are published and protected by Copyright (c) 2001-2019.
When you purchase a PDF, you may make as many photocopies as needed
(but please do NOT repost the text online in any way).
Purchasing a PDF of this script gives you the rights to use for:
Auditions
Classrooms
Workshops
Camps
If you use the script in a paid performance where admission is charged or in a competition, please pay the royalty:
https://sellfy.com/p/1MQC/
This royalty covers all performances that occur within one month’s time.
IMPORTANT: Please be sure to get permission from your competition for the script before performing it.
