Saturday, September 7, 2019

Corporal Wayne and Major Pain short script for 2 actors

CORPORAL WAYNE AND MAJOR PAIN by D. M. Larson

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(WAYNE wears a soldier’s uniform and is packing things into a duffle bag. NICK, a younger brother, watches him from behind something. WAYNE smiles and holds up his phone like a walkie-talkie)


WAYNE: This is Corporal Jones contacting command. I’m detecting an unknown entity in my perimeter.


NICK: It’s just me, Wayne.


WAYNE: I can never be too careful.


NICK: What’s a corple?


WAYNE: Corporal. Two stripes.


(WAYNE points to the two stripes on his arm)


NICK: Does that mean you’re in charge?


WAYNE: Not really.


NICK: So who’s in charge?


WAYNE: Lots of people. Sergeants, lieutenants…


NICK: Captains?


WAYNE: Yes, sir. And majors.


NICK: I’m a major.


WAYNE: Really? I didn’t know that.


NICK: Yup. The army called me and made me a major.


WAYNE: So that’s how you become a major? I always wondered how that happened.


NICK: I’m your boss now and you have to do everything I say.


(WAYNE stands at attention and salutes)


WAYNE: Yes, sir.


(NICK tries to look tough and tall. He salutes back).


NICK: I order you to get me a juice.


WAYNE: Yes, sir.


(WAYNE rushes off and brings back a juice box)


NICK: And an apple.


WAYNE: Sir, yes, sir.


(WAYNE rushes out and gets an apple)


NICK: Now drop and give me a 1,000.


WAYNE: A 1,000?


NICK: How about 5?


WAYNE: Yes, sir.


(WAYNE drops to the floor and does 5 push ups)


NICK: I saw that in a movie once.


(WAYNE finishes and stands at attention)


WAYNE: Yes, sir. 


NICK: Can you say anything else to a major?


WAYNE: Yes, sir.


NICK: Like what?


WAYNE: No, sir.


NICK: That’s it?


WAYNE: No, ma’am.


NICK: It’s like a game. Speaking of games. I order you to go get Monopoly. I want to play.


(WAYNE breaks out of his soldier routine)


WAYNE: Sorry, Nick, but I have to go soon.


(NICK gets angry)


NICK: But I ordered you! I’m a major!


WAYNE: My ride will be here soon. I have to go. 


(NICK’s eyes fill with angry tears)


NICK: No, I order you to stay!


WAYNE: What is wrong with you?


NICK: I don’t want you to go.


(NICK hugs WAYNE with all his strength)


WAYNE: I’m really sorry, but they need me.


NICK: I need you more.


WAYNE: Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. 


NICK: Will you?


WAYNE: What do you mean?


NICK: What if you get hurt?


(WAYNE pauses and looks worried. He sits down with NICK and tries to get him to make eye contact)


WAYNE: Is that why you are so upset? Because you’re worried I won’t come back.


(NICK cries as he speaks)


NICK: I saw it on the news. They said some soldiers got hurt. I don’t want you to get hurt.


WAYNE: Don’t worry. I’ll be okay.


NICK: But what if you’re not. What if one of those majors is stupid and tells you to do something bad and you get hurt? I won’t let them. I order you to stop. I order you to stay home!


(NICK cries and WAYNE holds him until he calms down)


WAYNE: I’m so sorry, Nick. But I have to go.


NICK: I know.


(NICK wipes away his tears and gets up. He gets WAYNE”s bag, hugs it and then gives it to WAYNE)


WAYNE: That’s my brave soldier.


NICK: I have something for you. Please wait a second while I get it. Please don’t leave yet.


(NICK exits. WAYNE looks at his phone and then goes to the window to look outside. He sees someone and waves. NICK returns).


WAYNE: My ride is here.


NICK: I have something for you. It will protect you.


(NICK gives WAYNE a coin)


WAYNE: Isn’t this your lucky coin?


NICK: Yes, it helps me get good grades and helped get a free milkshake once.


WAYNE: You’re giving it to me.


NICK: It will protect you. It will keep you safe.


WAYNE: And get me free milkshakes?


(They laugh and cry)


NICK: Yes.


WAYNE: Thank you, Nick. I love you.


NICK: I love you too, Wayne. So much.


WAYNE: I will see you soon.


(NICK takes WAYNE’s hand, the one holding the lucky coin, and holds it to his ear)


NICK: The lucky coin says yes.


(They hug, and then WAYNE exits. NICK goes to the window and salutes)


LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK

THE END

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