Saturday, September 7, 2019

G I Jane and Major Pain script for 2 actresses

G I JANE AND MAJOR PAIN by D. M. Larson

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(JANE wears a soldier’s uniform and is packing things into a duffle bag. PENNY, a younger sister, watches her from behind something. JANE smiles and holds up her phone like a walkie-talkie)


JANE: This is Corporal Jones contacting command. I’m detecting an unknown entity in my perimeter.


PENNY: It’s just me, Jane.


JANE: I can never be too careful.


PENNY: What’s a corple?


JANE: Corporal. Two stripes.


(JANE points to the two stripes on her arm)


PENNY: Does that mean you’re in charge?


JANE: Not really.


PENNY: So who’s in charge?


JANE: Lots of people. Sergeants, lieutenants…


PENNY: Captains?


JANE: Yes, ma’am. And majors.


PENNY: I’m a major.


JANE: Really? I didn’t know that.


PENNY: Yup. The army called me and made me a major.


JANE: So that’s how you become a major? I always wondered how that happened.


PENNY: I’m your boss now and you have to do everything I say.


(JANE stands at attention and salutes)


JANE: Yes, ma’am.


(PENNY tries to look tough and tall. She salutes back).


PENNY: I order you to get me a juice.


JANE: Yes, ma’am.


(JANE rushes off and brings back a juice box)


PENNY: And an apple.


JANE: Ma’am, yes, ma’am.


(JANE rushes out and gets an apple)


PENNY: Now drop and give me a 1,000.


JANE: A 1,000?


PENNY: How about 5?


JANE: Yes, ma’am.


(JANE drops to the floor and does 5 push ups)


PENNY: I saw that in a movie once.


(JANE finishes and stands at attention)


JANE: Yes, ma’am. 


PENNY: Can you say anything else to a major?


JANE: Yes, ma’am.


PENNY: Like what?


JANE: No, ma’am.


PENNY: That’s it?


JANE: No, ma’am.


PENNY: It’s like a game. Speaking of games. I order you to go get Monopoly. I want to play.


(JANE breaks out of her soldier routine)


JANE: Sorry, Penny, but I have to go soon.


(PENNY gets angry)


PENNY: But I ordered you! I’m a major!


JANE: My ride will be here soon. I have to go. 


(PENNY’s eyes fill with angry tears)


PENNY: No, I order you to stay!


JANE: What is wrong with you?


PENNY: I don’t want you to go.


(PENNY hugs JANE with all her strength)


JANE: I’m really sorry, but they need me.


PENNY: I need you more.


JANE: Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. 


PENNY: Will you?


JANE: What do you mean?


PENNY: What if you get hurt?


(JANE pauses and looks worried. She sits down with PENNY and tries to get her to make eye contact)


JANE: Is that why you are so upset? Because you’re worried I won’t come back.


(PENNY cries as she speaks)


PENNY: I saw it on the news. They said some soldiers got hurt. I don’t want you to get hurt.


JANE: Don’t worry. I’ll be okay.


PENNY: But what if you’re not. What if one of those majors is stupid and tells you to do something bad and you get hurt? I won’t let them. I order you to stop. I order you to stay home!


(PENNY cries and JANE holds her until she calms down)


JANE: I’m so sorry, Penny. But I have to go.


PENNY: I know.


(PENNY wipes away her tears and gets up. She gets JANE”s bag, hugs it and then gives it to JANE)


JANE: That’s my brave soldier.


PENNY: I have something for you. Please wait a second while I get it. Please don’t leave yet.


(PENNY exits. JANE looks at her phone and then goes to the window to look outside. She sees someone and waves. PENNY returns).


JANE: My ride is here.


PENNY: I have something for you. It will protect you.


(PENNY gives JANE a coin)


JANE: Isn’t this your lucky coin?


PENNY: Yes, it helps me get good grades and helped get a free milkshake once.


JANE: You’re giving it to me.


PENNY: It will protect you. It will keep you safe.


JANE: And get me free milkshakes?


(They laugh and cry)


PENNY: Yes.


JANE: Thank you, Penny. I love you.


PENNY: I love you too, Jane. So much.


JANE: I will see you soon.


(PENNY takes JANE’s hand, the one holding the lucky coin, and holds it to her ear)


PENNY: The lucky coin says yes.


(They hug, and then JANE exits. PENNY goes to the window and salutes)


LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK

THE END

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