Sunday, May 31, 2015

Bug-Eyed Creature monologue for teen male from stage play script Bullied, Bungled and Botched

"Being the new kid at school is like discovering a new planet."

From my play for high school about bullying, "Bullied, Bungled and Botched" for teens, teenagers, young adults.

For permission, please contact doug@freedrama.net (include the title "Bug-Eyed Creature" in the request).  Please do NOT repost the text of this monologue online.

BUG-EYED CREATURE by D. M. Larson

LUKE
Being the new kid at school is like discovering a new planet. Everything is strange and confusing and you're the weird alien everyone is afraid of - well not fear - you are the gross bugged eyed creature that's completely misunderstood.

(LUKE speaks like an alien to someone passing)

"I come in peace." Ignored as usual. Maybe I have on my cloaking device? No one seems to see me.

(He tries talking to more people as they pass and does the related hand motions for the following [ie Star Trek, Mork and Mindy])

Live long and prosper!  Nano nano!  Those are my geek gang signs.
May the force be with you.  How come that one doesn't have a hand sign? It really needs one.

(He tries out different hand and arm motions)

May the force be with you... may the force be with you... may the force make you live long and prosper. I like that. I need to make a t-shirt with that on there.

You know, the principal made me change my shirt. I had one with Spock doing the Vulcan hand signs saying “Go Trek Yourself” Like anyone could be offended by that. He said students are not allowed to wear anything with words on it. Isn't that ironic? A school banning words.
School is not the place to be unique or stand out. They have this mold they want everyone to fit into. If you're not a certain way the whole school says you're not their type and they reject you.

Rejection - life is all about rejection. I am proud to say I have always been the last to be picked for any school activity. Especially when it’s sports. I try to make sure I'm last - and if I am really lucky they have too many team members so I have so sit out.  To make sure I am last to be picked I always limp so they think I am a liability - and if they don't notice the limp, I add in a nose pick because who wants to pass the ball to a nose picker? Oh, that's a good idea for a hand sign.

(LUKE picks his nose and holds out his finger)

May the force be with you.

(Laughs)

They noticed that one. I know that’s gross but hey, I have my bug-eyed creature reputation to maintain.

END OF MONOLOGUE

***

This play is published and available at Amazon.com (ISBN-13: 978-1518661082):




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Bug-Eyed Creature monologue for teen male from stage play script Bullied, Bungled and Botched high school teenager



Monday, May 11, 2015

Double Rainbow short monologue for kids - boy or girl - solo stage play script for male or female

Short Monologue for Kids



DOUBLE RAINBOW
by D. M. Larson


LAYLA
I live for rainbows. They are magical. I love how they surprise you.

They can happen anywhere and at any time. Sometimes they're only there for a few seconds but I could watch them for hours.  

And you know what's great about them ... Anyone can enjoy a rainbow... Rich, poor, famous, homeless, popular or loser.. Anyone can see them and dream. 

The time they dazzle me the most is after a terrible storm. Lightening terrifies me but rainbows bring me comfort again.

Oh! Oh! Look! Lookie! It's a double rainbow!!  It's really a double ray... ay... ay... bbbb... boooooow! Thank you rainbows! Thank you!  I'm in Heaven. 


END 

****

Link to extended version of this monologue called Magical Rainbows

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short monologue for kids - boy or girl - solo stage play script for male or female


Magical Rainbows - monologue for kids - boy or girl - solo stage play script for male or female

Monologue for Kids


For permission to use this monologue, email doug@freedrama.net (please include the title "Magical Rainbows" in your request).


MAGICAL RAINBOWS
by D. M. Larson


LAYLA

I live for rainbows. They are magical.  I love how they surprise you.

They can happen anywhere and at any time. 

Sometimes they're only there for a few seconds but I could watch them for hours.  

And you know what's great about them ... Anyone can enjoy a rainbow... Rich, poor, famous, homeless, popular or loser.. Anyone can see them and dream. 

The time they dazzle me the most is after a terrible storm. Lightening terrifies me but rainbows bring me comfort again.

There are so many stories about rainbows.  You know like leprechauns and pots of gold. I'm embarrassed to admit this but when I was younger, I used to try and find the end of the rainbow.  It's not that I'm greedy and want the pot of gold, I was just curious.  But rainbows are mysterious and never stay in one place for long.  

And then there's Noah ark - one of my favorite stories of all time - not only do you have rainbows but you have cute animals too. Ever notice how Noah only took all the cute ones? At least that's what you see in all the books and cartoons - super cute critters two by two climbing in to Noah canoe - and at the end, there is a rainbow- God's promise to Noah that he would never flood the world again. Although maybe we need another flood - or at least a good cleaning - some of the people around here could use a good holy bath. 

Oh! Oh! Look! Lookie! It's a double rainbow!!  It's really a double ray-ay-ay-bbbb-boooooow! Thank you rainbows! Thank you!  I'm in Heaven. 


END
***

Link to shorter version of this monologue called "Double Rainbow"

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monologue for kids - boy or girl - solo stage play script for male or female

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Dramatic monologue for male - Falling Away from You - solo stage play script

This is a dramatic monologue from the scene by the same name from the play "When Mel Fell for Nell"

"FALLING AWAY FROM YOU"
by D. M. Larson

MEL
I miss you... so bad. 

I always think I want to go somewhere but I am always sorry when I do. I thought I had to take a journey to find happiness, when in reality, happiness is at home with you. I guess the journeys make me appreciate you more. I journeyed so far, but the best thing was right at my door. Who would have thought that the best thing in the universe was only a walk away... no flying... no great voyage... just turn around and look... 

(He turns hoping to see Nell, the woman he loves, but she isn't there)

That's something good, right? I'm just trying to find something good because I don't feel so good now.

I just feel... alone. I hate being alone. The plane lifts me up but I feel like I am falling. 

(He falls to his knees) 

Falling away from you.


END
****
From the play "When Mel Fell for Nell" by D. M. Larson available on Amazon.com

Dramatic monologue for male - Falling Away from You - solo stage play script

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Funny Monologue for female - "How to be a Pirate" or "An Orchestra of Stink" - comedy solo stage play script

"The Princess and the Pirate" is the story of a Princess who wants adventure and a Pirate Girl who wants a nice quiet life on land. The two girls meet and decide to switch lives so each can live out their dream. But both girls get more than they bargain for.








For permission to use this monologue, email doug@freedrama.net (please include the title "How to be a Pirate" in your request).


"How to be a Pirate" 
or "An Orchestra of Stink"
by D. M. Larson





Buy a low cost PDF of the monologue at:
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Read the monologue for free at:
****
Read the full script "The Pirate and the Princess" (ISBN-13: 978-1515169765) and learn more about Bones:  http://freedrama.net/pirateprincess.html 

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Monologue for female - How to be a Pirate comedy funny

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

"Inside Out" short romantic monologue for male from the published play - solo stage play script

Beauty IS a Beast is the story of a spoiled princess named Beauty who is beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside.  Her fairy godmother decides to teach her a lesson and turn her inside out.  This monologue is from near the end of the play after Beauty has learned her lesson.

"Inside Out"
by D. M. Larson

NICK

I don't want any reward.  I should be paying them a hundred pieces of gold for letting me spend time with you.

You may have upset me at times. But there's something about you. The way you are that makes me never want to let you go. It's not your beauty, it's you.

Your fairy godmother took the beauty on the outside and put it on the inside.  Let's thank her for turning you inside out and making you someone I can love.


END
***

Adapted from the play "Beauty IS a Beast" (PDF) ISBN-13: 978-1511495967

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Murderous Onions comedy monologue by Clint Snyder

Murderous Onions
(guest blogger)

Sam
Talking to lunch lady about why it is impossible to eat onion rings any more.
     I was making onion rings with my friend Linda because that’s her favorite food and we were chopping up the onions.  Well, I got through my second onion and my eyes are starting to get all teary, but I look over at Linda who is still on her first onion and her eyes are very teary.  She’s not just teary, but she’s sobbing loudly.  So I said, “Wow, those onions are really getting to you, huh?”  I had never seen anything like it before in my life, so I joked, “ What did an onion kill your father?” (Pause.) She said, “yes.”  Then she screamed at me, “Yes! It was a terrible onion truck accident that killed five people.”  See I had thought that onion rings were her favorite food, so I asked her about it and she said yes they were her favorite food.  She ate them because they reminded her of her father.  Well, at this point I really wasn’t sure what to say, so I said something really dumb, “ Well, look at it this way.  If you always eat lots of onion rings then you’re probably really unhealthy and you’ll die quicker so you can be with him.”  This set her off her rocker.  She did not like that comment one bit and I know this because she started throwing onions at my head and chasing me out of the house.  I got all the way to the middle of the street and I could still hear her screaming, “Onions! Onions murdered you daddy!”  Well, I haven’t been able to eat an onion ring since then.

Copyright © 2015 Clint Snyder

For More Plays, One Acts, Monologues and more 
by Clint Snyder Click Here

Monday, May 4, 2015

"Ferrets" monologue by Clint Snyder

Ferrets
(guest blogger)

Logan
Talking to the pet store owner who just tried to sell him a ferret.

     If you told me that ferrets were the offspring of satan that really wouldn’t surprise me.  They’ve got pointy little teeth like a demon and sometimes they just jump up at you like some sort of intensely evil jack-in-the box and then they clamp down like syringes.  Little pointy syringes of death.  I know firsthand, not death, I’m not a ghost, but my basic point is that they’re really sharp and they’re actually just pure evil in a furry package. And when…(Holding back tears.) When I was a little child.  An innocent little child.  I used to play games with animals, just like snow white did, except they didn’t clean my house.  I used to kiss frogs and toads to see if they would turn into a handsome price like in that other fairy tale too.  Well, my friend had a pet ferret that she brought out  and in my infinite innocence I knelt down, like this, and I said “Hello there little friend, If I give you and nice big kiss I bet you’ll transform into a handsome prince.  And I puckered up and kissed him, but he wasn’t my little friend and the only prince he transformed into was Satan the prince of darkness.  He bit down on my lip like it was a worm.  I didn’t know what to do, so I screamed, “Off! Off!” But he just held on.  I started spinning in circles like this to get him of me and after a while he finally let go, flew off, hit the ceiling fan and was hurled out an open window outside.  I was so dizzy and traumatized I just collapsed.  My lip swelled up and made me talk funny for a month.  The whole time my friend was just complaining that her ferret ran away.  I just told her it probably crawled back to the underworld.  

For More Plays, One Acts, Monologues and more 
by Clint Snyder Click Here


Copyright © 2015 Clint Snyder

"Hostages" monologue by Clint Snyder

"Hostages"
(guest blogger)

Morgan
Talking to parents about a day at the museum.
     I’m never going back to the museum again, I can tell you that right now, partly because I’m not allowed to go back.  The guard said that after he took my handcuffs off.  He also told me that he only used handcuffs because I stepped on his foot and spit in his face and insulted his mother, but I don’t feel bad at all because I had every right to do those things.  They shouldn’t be allowed to have dead people locked up in their stupid glass things.  I had never thought about it before, but when I was walking by the Egypt exhibit I saw a mummy. I didn’t realize it at first, but apparently a mummy is a dead person… this disturbs me.  I told my chaperone that I thought that was wrong because my grandma was dead and she certainly would not like it if someone put her dead body in a glass box… You know what she told me?  It’s good for science.  I told her I don’t care if it’s good for science it is most certainly not good for my grandma and that was probably some one else’s grandma, but instead of helping me bust them out, the dumb chaperone just took me to another exhibit, which was even more disturbing.  It was a human body exhibit that showed the inside of real dead people’s bodies in plastic, doing dumb things like shooting arrows and riding bicycles.  The chaperone said it was neat because it showed the different muscle groups and that was when I really started freaking out.  I shouted, “They’re keeping the bodies hostage! They’re keeping the bodies hostage!”   I kicked open one of the cases and that’s when the guard grabbed me.  That’s why I’m not allowed to go back in, but it’s just a prison for dead people, so who would want to go in a dumb place like that anyway?

For More Plays, One Acts, Monologues and more 
by Clint Snyder Click Here


Copyright © 2015 Clint Snyder

Sunday, May 3, 2015

"Good Deeds" comedy monologue by Clint Synder - guest blogger

Another fun monologue from a guest blogger:

"Good Deeds"

Taylor
Talking to a school newspaper reporter about community service.

     Oh, I’ve definitely noticed a rise in the population of ugly people at my school.  Ugliness has become a national pandemic and I have taken it upon myself to do anything in my power that I can to stop it and help the less fortunate.  Every decade has a different problem.  For the 2000’s it was cancer.  For the 90’s they had a bunch of weird diseases.  For the 80’s they had a bunch of bad hair problems.  For the 70’s they had all those stupid flower thingys.  So, in order to help out the poor ugly souls of the world I started a consultation service.  I walk around the lunchroom and shout at people how they are hideously ugly.  I figure that the first step to fixing the problem is being aware of it and most people don’t even seem to know it… isn’t that sad? (She fakes tears.) Wa! Wa! Wa! Those looked real right?  I want to have tears in my eyes when I accept whatever award they give me for being so generous. (Shouting at random people she notices.) He Jenny! Your nose looks like a rhino smashed up against a window! Doreen! Change your shirt! Muffin tops are not just a breakfast food! (Returning to normal.) Whew! All this community service is wearing me out.  Do you want to see what my angel wings are going to look like in heaven?  I’ve been practicing my flapping all morning.  Watch. (She starts flapping her arms.) Flap, Flap, Flap, Flap.  Oh, and I just thought I should let you know your unibrow looks like a hairy caterpillar across your face.  Don’t worry.  You don’t need to thank me.  Less ugly people in the world is thanks enough.  Well, I’m going to take a nap.  You know, beauty sleep.  I wouldn’t want to look like, well, you.

END

Copyright © 2015 Clint Snyder

For More Plays, One Acts, Monologues and more 
by Clint Snyder Click Here

Saturday, May 2, 2015

"Sloth Puzzles" comedy monologue by Clint Snyder - solo stage play script

Another monologue by guest blogger Clint Snyder:

Sloth Puzzles
Riley
Talks to an agent about a recent experience in New York.

     So for my birthday this year my parents took me to New York City.  See, it has always been my dream to have my own reality TV show.  The idea for my show is that the cameras will follow me around for several hours while I do puzzles of really cute animals like a panda bear or sloths.  I was gunna do that, or just have one of those really trashy television shows that always ends in a girl crying over a toilet cutting her hair and throwing up.  That would be nice.  When we got there though, it was a lot different than I thought it would be.  My parents took me to the t.v. studio and I explained my idea to the secretary, but she just laughed at me.  I thought she was laughing because she liked the idea, but then when I kept explaining that the second episode would focus on me doing a koala puzzle, she laughed harder and called over the security man.  He was not very nice, I can tell you that right now.  He shocked me with a taser and the next thing I knew I was outside the studio with my family.  I wanted a pair of movie star sunglasses to help get over the trauma, but we couldn’t find the store.  We found a homeless man named “Bulldog” and he told us that he would show us the way to the sunglasses store, but instead he just stole my dad’s wallet.  We ended up having to sell our car to the mafia for plane tickets to get home because we had no money, but I don’t actually regret the trip.  My new plan is to use my mafia connections to get my own mafia reality show.  Think I’ve got a shot? 

END

Copyright © 2015 Clint Snyder

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by Clint Snyder Click Here

Friday, May 1, 2015

Monologue by Clint Synder La Cucaracha - solo stage script for female

I'd like to welcome Clint Synder as a guest blogger on the Freedrama free play script blog.  He is a fellow playwright who would like to share his monologues with you.  Here is a fun one for a female actress - yes, I know most actresses are female :)

La Cucaracha
By Clint Snyder

Heidi

Explains to her Spanish Teacher about her pagent this past weekend.

     If I ever see that ratty head judge again I will scream at the top of my lungs and then pa-romptly knock those dumb ol’ glasses off her face.  I shouldn’t have lost the contest because there was no contest.  I did my beauty perfect.  The song I picked was La Cucaracha, like I learned in our Spanish class.  My ma is always telling me, “Teach those judges baby!”  So I did.  I wanted to teach them that la cucaracha means cockroach in Spanish, so I dressed up like a cockroach and shook some maracas like this.  (She demonstrates.)  And I did the face like cockroach makes like this. (She demonstrates.)  My Ma says that cockroaches aren’t very good for the beauty competition, but she also says that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Well, I’ll tell you,  I saw a cockroach once with this eye right here and I beheld it, so it’s beautiful.  My baton twirling was really good too.  I set them on fire cause you got to stand out in the talent part they only had to call the firemen twice, but I actually think the firemen liked to be there.  They were looking at me with big crazy eyes because they know I’m beautiful.  Then I wrapped everything up with my evening wear.  I wore my pink spotted footie pajamas because I always wear my pajamas in the evening and let me tell you, I worked it.  That’s why I was so confused when I saw that I was disqualified on my ballot, but my ma told me that it must just be because I scored so high that I didn’t even give those other girls a shot.  I guess I’m just gunna have to find a harder competition next time cause I at least want to give the other girl’s a chance.

Copyright © 2015 Clint Snyder

For More Plays, One Acts, Monologues and more 

by Clint Snyder Click Here

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