"Munch My Macho Taco" by D. M. Larson
from the play "William Shatner Man Crush" ISBN-13: 978-1505910155 (Book) available as a low cost PDF Sellfy.com (PDF)
(Randy is in his wrestling mask and has a sign that says "Munch my Macho Taco." He has a sign dancing job where he stands on street corner with an advertising sign - a dream job for him. An old lady, Sadie, is watching him and checking him out)
(Randy does a silly dance with his sign and sings to the tune of Macho Man by the Village People)
"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Macho, Macho Taco. I wanna eat a Macho Taco." Hey!
(Sadie pinches Randy on the butt)
I told you not to bother me while I'm working, Sadie.
It's a tough life... Being a celebrity. But I am a star now. My fans demand I dance.
(Randy shakes his booty at the audience)
Maybe I should insure my booty like JLo... Cause when I shake this thang it's gold. Macho taco said their sales are way up since I started this. They sold like 10 extra tacos yesterday. They almost ran out of tortillas. I can't believe I get paid to do this. This is like a dream job for me. I mean this is what I do anyway. When I home alone, I crank up the music and dance!
(Randy does a silly dance move)
Except at home I usually ain't wearing nothing but my undies.
I'd pay to see that! You wear them tidy whities just like Tom Cruise? You wanna show me your Risky Business.
The hard part about this is all the fans. Ever had groupies? It's crazy. I mean I don't mind the drive by fans who shout out things. They're cool.
(Randy points to passing car and tries a Hulk Hogan impression)
"Eat a macho taco, brother!" But it's the creepy ones that hang around and watch you... and wanna touch you.
(Sadie pinches him again)
Knock it off, Sadie. Don't damage the merchandise. I gotta keep working this baby.
(Does Mr. T impression to passing car)
"I pity the fool who don't eat no Macho Tacos."
(Randy dances and Sadie tries to join in)
Yeah! Shake it! Like the San Francisco quake of 19 ought six.
Chicks think this job is hot.
(Randy does a cowboy dance like he is on a horse)
Ride 'em cowboy!
(Sings to tune of "Mony Mony" by Billy Idol)
"So good! Macho taco! So good! Macho taco! Come on! Come on!"
(Sadie and Randy dance as lights go down)
END OF SCENE
This scene is from the play "William Shatner Man Crush" ISBN-13: 978-1505910155 (Book) available as a low cost PDF Sellfy.com (PDF)
For more duologues (2 actor plays) go to http://www.freedrama.net/small2.html
For free monologues (1 actor plays), go to http://www.freedrama.net/small1.html
For three actor plays, go to http://www.freedrama.net/small3.html