MYSTERY OF THE GANGSTER GHOST
PART 14
ACT II SCENE 4 - THE CREEPY CORPSE OF CAL CAPONE
(Lights come up slightly on VERA entering a darkened club)
VERA
Where is everybody? The boss
wanted me to make sure everything
was A-okay, but there ain’t nothing
here period. Kind of fishy if you ask me.
(MAYA appears from behind her in the dark and hits her over
the head with a frying pan. VERA passes out and MAYA drags
her off - FLO can help if needed. After a moment, CAL
enters. If extra actors are available to play bodyguards,
CAL can tell them to "wait outside and make sure nobody
interrupts the festivities")
CAL
Hello? Where is my little muffin?
Is she ready for the big day?
(REMMY comes in sobbing wearing black)
REMMY
I... I... I’m ready.
CAL
Good. Hey, nice dress.
REMMY
Is that all you can say? This is
the worst day of my life and all
you can say is "nice dress."
CAL
Okay, uh... you’re hair looks good too.
REMMY
This is the worst day of my life.
CAL
Aw... you say the sweetest
things. Where is that priest?
(JAQUE and FLO enter)
REMMY
At least my friends are here.
JAQUE
We couldn’t skip out on you, Remmy.
FLO
We knew you could use some backup.
REMMY
You can say that again.
FLO
We knew you could...
CAL
Shut up! All of yous! I want this
to be over with as soon as possible.
(Everyone stands nervously in silence a moment)
JAQUE
Did you get a cake?
CAL
I said quiet!
(They are quiet again for a few moments)
FLO
What about a bouquet?
(CAL pulls out a gun)
CAL
I said shut up! Next person who
talks, gets it!
(PETE enters in disquise as the priest)
PETE (AS PRIEST)
Hello, my children.
(CAL points gun at him)
PETE (CONT.)
Sorry I’m late.
CAL
Oh, sorry, Father. Just a little
pre-wedding jitters.
PETE (AS PRIEST)
I understand, my son.
CAL
Let’s get this show on the road.
FLO
Yeah, the horror show.
CAL
What?
FLO
Nothing.
PETE (AS PRIEST)
Are we ready? Let us begin. Love
goes back to the beginning of time...
CAL
Just give us the short version.
PETE (AS PRIEST)
The short version?
CAL
You know, all the "I do’s" and such.
PETE (AS PRIEST)
Well, we must get a few things
straight first.
CAL
Straight? What do you mean?
PETE (AS PRIEST)
Do you love this woman?
CAL
You bet.
(CAL slaps her on the rear - or makes kissy lips)
PETE (AS PRIEST)
Do you love this man?
REMMY
I most certainly...
(CAL points his gun at her)
REMMY (CONT.)
Well...
CAL
Say it.
PETE (AS PRIEST)
I can not perform the ceremony
pointing a gun at the bride.
CAL
How about I point it at you instead?
PETE (AS PRIEST)
I suppose I could do it then.
CAL
Hurry it up. I ain’t got all night.
PETE (AS PRIEST)
Do you, Cal Capone...
(SADIE enters and her ghostly voice booms out)
SADIE
Cal Capone.
CAL
What was that?
JAQUE
What was what?
FLO
I didn’t hear anything.
PETE (AS PRIEST)
Take this woman...
SADIE
Kill this woman...
CAL
Who is that? Who said that?
JAQUE
Are you okay, Cal?
CAL
I swore I heard someone say...
PETE (AS PRIEST)
Shall we continue?
CAL
The sooner we get out of here the better.
SADIE
Get out of here!
CAL
Hurry!
PETE (AS PRIEST)
Do you Cal Capone...
SADIE
Cal Capone.
CAL
You said that already.
PETE (AS PRIEST)
Take this woman...
SADIE
Kill this woman...
PETE (AS PRIEST)
Ruth Remmington.
SADIE
Sadie Smithington!
CAL
It’s her!
FLO
Who?
CAL
Sadie!
SADIE
Sadie!
CAL
She’s come back!
(SADIE approaches CAL. He can see her now. He backs away)
SADIE
I’ve come for you, Cal!
You must pay!
PETE (AS PRIEST)
Are you okay, my son?
CAL
Can’t you see her?!
FLO
We can’t see anything.
CAL
It’s her! Sadie! She’s come back
to haunt me.
JAQUE
You’re nuts, man.
(JAQUE and FLO exit)
SADIE
I’ve come to drive you nuts!
CAL
Please, no!
SADIE
I will be with you every day of
your life.
CAL
No!
SADIE
I will never leave you. Like you
promised me. We’d never be
apart. But you betrayed me!
CAL
Please, Sadie. I’ll do anything you
say. Just leave me alone.
SADIE
You must never marry again!
CAL
I won’t. I won’t.
SADIE
You must never ruin a woman’s life
like you ruined mine.
CAL
Never again. Remmy, the wedding’s off!
REMMY
You mean it?
SADIE
Tell her you mean it!
CAL
I mean it!
SADIE
Promise her!
CAL
I promise!
SADIE
Why did you do it, Cal? Why did
you kill me.
CAL
I didn’t do it.
MAYA
Perhaps I can find the answer... to
who killed Sadie.
(MAYA goes in to a trance and wanders the room, stopping at
each person as she names them)
MAYA (CONT.)
There were six people in the
building the night John and Sadie
were murdered. Cal Capone, Vera...
Pete...
REMMY
Pete? Pete was there?
PETE
She’s right. I was.
MAYA
And Remmy, Flo and Jaque...
JAQUE
Maya... please... you know I
couldn’t do something like that.
MAYA
But you were there. I sense it.
Tell us what you saw that night, Sadie.
SADIE
I feel like John’s death was my
fault. I never should have tried to
make him jealous.
Someone killed John but drove him
mad first. I found a note someone
left for him. It said they had
information about me having an
affair. He met them here to
confront them and demand proof. I
decided to follow him and see who
it was. It was dark and difficult
to see. I have never been able to
see well in the dark. Before I
could see the person, they started
to argue and fight... I rushed in
and I saw someone in the shadows
strangling him. I found a knife and
attacked but I couldn’t see
anything so I was stabbing blindly.
They grabbed me and used my own
knife against me... and left me for dead.
