Wednesday, August 30, 2017

"Blood Type" comedy monologue from the play "Make Me A Vampire"


From the scene "Make Me a Vampire"

From the published play "Losers in Love" by D. M. Larson 
ISBN: 9781549653186

(LUCIEN is a snooty vampire who can't stand people with certain blood types)

You're smelling up the entire lobby. Sorry, we don’t deal with your kind. No one does. No one here will be willing to touch someone with your blood type. “B” I assume, by the stench. “B” negative? That’s even worse. “O” is a delicacy that vampires crave the most. “A” is good. A fine blood type we all can enjoy. “AB” is tolerable. It’s mixed with B but A is strong enough to make it drinkable. But “B” - it is the absolute worst. “B” positive is bad enough. It smells like a skunk peeling onions at a sewage processing plant. But “B” negative… It’s a rare and horrific smell… I can’t even imagine what the taste must be. Simply horrendous, I’m sure.


Read "Make Me A Vampire" at this link:

From the published play "Losers in Love" by D. M. Larson 

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