DOGBOY: We have to get organized. So many people are becoming heroes that
it is getting a bit out of control. And without guidance, we might end up with more
villains than heroes, doing more harm than good.
it is getting a bit out of control. And without guidance, we might end up with more
villains than heroes, doing more harm than good.
CATCHICK: If only the original hero were here to guide us.
SMASH: Who is that?
CATCHICK: The Man. He’s show us how to be real heroes.
DOGBOY: I invited him.
CATCHICK: You did?!
DOGBOY: But I doubt he will come.
SHADE: Who?
DOGBOY: The Man.
(THE MAN - a Superman type hero- enters dramatically with his SIDEKICK)
THE MAN: Did someone call for the “The Man” himself?
SIDEKICK: The Man of the hour.
THE MAN: The manliest of men.
SIDEKICK: The Man!
(FANGIRLS and FANBOYS enters and cheer)
FANS: The Man! The Man! The Man!
CATCHICK: My hero.
SHADE: Why did you invite him? He’ll ruin everything
DOGBOY: But he’s the original superhero. He inspired the rest of us. We need him to unite us.
THE MAN: Gather around everyone. Gather around.
(All heroes and villains and fans gather. SIDEKICK shushes people and moves
them around in a semi circle behind THE MAN who stands dramatically center stage
facing the audience with everyone behind him)
them around in a semi circle behind THE MAN who stands dramatically center stage
facing the audience with everyone behind him)
THE MAN: I am pleased you all came to see me today.
MEZMERO: We didn’t come to see you.
SIDEKICK: Silence!
FANS: Silence, silence, silence.
JESTER and PRINCESS: (mocking) Silence, silence, silence.
SIDEKICK: You be silent.
JESTER and PRINCESS: You be silent.
SIDEKICK: Stop that.
JESTER and PRINCESS: Stop that.
(THE MAN goes to SIDEKICK)
THE MAN: I’ve got this.
(JESTER and PRINCESS see THE MAN approaching)
JESTER: Oooh. It’s the Man. I’m so scared.
(THE MAN holds up a single finger dramatically)
PRINCESS: Oh, no.
(THE MAN wiggles his finger)
PRINCESS: No, not the super tickle finger.
JESTER: But I love to laugh.
PRINCESS: Trust me. You won’t want to laugh that much.
(THE MAN tickles JESTER and he laughs like crazy)
JESTER: I… I love… laughing… see… I.. I… please… no…. Stop! Help!
THE MAN: You promise to be silent.
JESTER: Yes… yes!!
THE MAN: Very well then.
(THE MAN stops. JESTER sneaks off embarrassed with PRINCESS following)
JESTER: I think a peed a little.
(FANS and SIDEKICK applaud)
SIDEKICK: Another job well done.
THE MAN: So as I was saying…
SIDEKICK: Before being rudely interrupted.
FANS: Rude, rude, rude.
(PRINCESS sticks her tongue out at FANS)
THE MAN: I appreciate all your efforts to be heroes and villains. I want to thank
Dogboy for bringing you all together for my important message for all of you.
Dogboy for bringing you all together for my important message for all of you.
(Polite applause for DOGBOY)
DOGBOY: Thank you, Mr. The Man. I am so thankful you could be here…
THE MAN: I know. So I am here to officially tell you all the cease and desist all activities.
SMASH: What?
CATCHICK: You mean the villains right.
THE MAN: No, I mean all of you.
SHADE: You can’t do that.
THE MAN: I can. I am The Man. I am the original superhero and I started it all and
I can finish it all. This is the end of the line for all of you.
I can finish it all. This is the end of the line for all of you.
DESTRUCTO: Shouldn’t we put this up to a vote or something? There’s way more of us
than there are of him.
than there are of him.
SIDEKICK: He’s better than all of you put together.
FANS: Better! Better! Better!
DESTRUCTO: I love your fans. Let’s do a cheer.
DESTRUCTO and THE FANS: Cheer! Cheer! Cheer!
(then DESTRUCTO hits them as they cheer)
FAN 1: My nose!
FAN 2: My eye!
FAN 3: My ears!
(FANS cover their hurt spots and stumble out crying)
DESTRUCTO: Sorry about that.
MEZMERO: I don’t think any of us are sorry about that. Say hello to the Man, Destructo.
THE MAN: Destructo? A new villain?
DESTRUCTO: I haven’t decided which side to join yet.
SIDEKICK: It doesn’t matter. The Man said all of you are done. No more heroes and no more villains.
(MEZMERO, JESTER, PRINCESS and other villains laugh)
JESTER: Ooops. I can’t stop being a villain. You didn’t say Simon says.
(PRINCESS laughs hysterically at this)
THE MAN: This calls for more tickle finger.
DESTRUCTO: How does that work?
(DESTRUCTO steps in the way as THE MAN goes for JESTER and PRINCESS
and THE MAN stumbles and falls into DESTRUCTO. They struggle and THE MAN yells out)
and THE MAN stumbles and falls into DESTRUCTO. They struggle and THE MAN yells out)
THE MAN: My finger! Ow! You hurt my finger.
SIDEKICK: That’s impossible! You’re indestructible.
THE MAN: How did he hurt my finger?
DESTRUCTO: It was just an accident. I didn’t mean too.
THE MAN: This really hurts. Is this what it is like when you all get hurt? Ow.
PRINCESS: Somebody has a boo-boo.
JESTER: Need a band-ade?
THE MAN: This will not be tolerated. You have until sunrise tomorrow to give up your capes.
(THE MAN and SIDEKICK exit)
DESTRUCTO: I don’t have a cape.
DOGBOY: We need to get you one.
SMASH: I can’t believe you actually hurt the Man.
CATCHICK: I thought no one could.
MEZMERO: At long last, we someone who can defeat the Man! You need to join us!
Together we will rule the planet!
Together we will rule the planet!
DESTRUCTO: Can I get a cool costume and mask like yours if I do?
(DESTRUCTO accidentally hits MEZMERO’s mask and he starts breathing funny)
MEZMERO: My mask! I need it… to breathe.
DESTRUCTO: So sorry about that, eh.
MEZMERO: You... will... pay... for... this...
(MEZMERO exits)
