“THIS GIRL COMES AS IS”
DOTTY
Maybe you got scared being serious about a guy for once and
you decided to find something bad to focus on so you could have an
excuse to dump him. What else was wrong with him?
You have to be kidding me. That’s why you dumped him?
Because he’s poor? But shouldn’t you marry for love?
Love lasts longer than money. So no matter how great the guy is,
if he doesn’t have money, then you’re not interested?
You’re impossible. I have standards.
I want to meet a man who loves me for who I am and supports my dreams.
He won’t ask me to change, but accept all my imperfections.
I don’t want to be some guy’s project and have him turn me into his mother.
And I want to love the man for who he is and not have to work him over
and mold him into something he’s not. If you don’t love someone for
who they really are then they’re not right for you. I know I have a lot
of odd quirks and strange ways of looking at things.
I don’t want to have to hide all that from someone and pretend to be someone I’m not.
Take me as I am, boys. This girl comes “as is.”
you decided to find something bad to focus on so you could have an
excuse to dump him. What else was wrong with him?
You have to be kidding me. That’s why you dumped him?
Because he’s poor? But shouldn’t you marry for love?
Love lasts longer than money. So no matter how great the guy is,
if he doesn’t have money, then you’re not interested?
You’re impossible. I have standards.
I want to meet a man who loves me for who I am and supports my dreams.
He won’t ask me to change, but accept all my imperfections.
I don’t want to be some guy’s project and have him turn me into his mother.
And I want to love the man for who he is and not have to work him over
and mold him into something he’s not. If you don’t love someone for
who they really are then they’re not right for you. I know I have a lot
of odd quirks and strange ways of looking at things.
I don’t want to have to hide all that from someone and pretend to be someone I’m not.
Take me as I am, boys. This girl comes “as is.”
END OF MONOLOGUE
from the following scene for two actresses:
from the following scene for two actresses:
DEBBY: I dated some guy recently and it was the most amazing two weeks. He took me dancing and he was wonderful. He said that I was the reason he could dance so well. Being with me made him feel like he was floating on clouds.
DOTTY: He said that?
DEBBY: He actually did. What a dork. I’ve never been with such a sappy, romantic guy before. But it was kind of fun. We went for long walks in the park and fed ducks. And we went ice skating. I’ve never been before so he kept having to hold me up. I felt so helpless and so comforted at the same time.
DOTTY: This isn’t your usual kind of guy. How come you didn’t tell me about him before?
DEBBY: Because he was also kind of creepy.
DOTTY: There’s always a catch with those guys, isn’t there?
DEBBY: Yeah, just when I thought I had met the guy of my dreams, you know the kind of guy you want to get a house with… the white picket fence kind of house where you can see yourself having kids and being taken care of.
DOTTY: This was serious.
DEBBY: Then his creepy side came out.
DOTTY: What happened?
DEBBY: He took me to one of those old fashioned soda fountains which I thought was cute at first, but he wanted to share my drink. He stuck his straw in my drink and gave a big all lusty suck and said it tasted better when he drank from the same glass as me.
DOTTY: Aw, that’s not creepy. That’s kind of cute.
DEBBY: Maybe I should fix you up with this guy then.
DOTTY: Maybe you got scared being serious about a guy for once and you decided to find something bad to focus on so you could have an excuse to dump him.
DEBBY: He was far from perfect.
DOTTY: What else was wrong with him?
DEBBY: He wasn’t rich.
DOTTY: You have to be kidding me. That’s why you dumped him? Because he’s poor?
DEBBY: I’m tired of being poor.
DOTTY: But shouldn’t you marry for love? Love lasts longer than money.
DEBBY: I seriously doubt it.
DOTTY: So no matter how great the guy is, if he doesn’t have money, then you’re not interested?
DEBBY: Money isn’t enough. He has to be smart and good looking too.
DOTTY: You’re impossible.
DEBBY: Geez. At least I have standards.
DOTTY: I have standards.
DEBBY: Like what?
DOTTY: I want to meet a man who loves me for who I am and supports my dreams. He won’t ask me to change, but accept all my imperfections. I don’t want to be some guy’s project and have him turn me into his mother. And I want to love the man for who he is and not have to work him over and mold him into something he’s not. If you don’t love someone for who they really are then they’re not right for you. I know I have a lot of odd quirks and strange ways of looking at things. I don’t want to have to hide all that from someone and pretend to be someone I’m not. Take me as I am, boys. This girl comes “as is.”
from the play
“Blondes Prefer Gentlemen”
ISBN-13: 978-1985331877
Book:
Low cost PDF of full play:
