Monday, January 13, 2020

"The Cinnamon Roll of Happiness" short script for 4 actors

"The Cinnamon Roll of Happiness" short script for 4 actors by D. M. Larson

(JAMES is a homeless looking man sitting at a table in an outdoor cafe eating some food)

HOST: What are you doing?

JAMES: Eating.

HOST: This isn’t your table.

JAMES: It isn’t?

HOST: No. You’re eating someone else’s food.

JAMES: They were done. They left. Here is the signed receipt. They left a nice tip.

HOST: How generous. Now, leave.

JAMES: What will you do with all this food?

HOST: Throw it in the trash. You can find it there later.

JAMES: I’d rather eat it now.

HOST: I’d rather you didn’t.

JAMES: Waste not, want not.

HOST: Must I get security?

JAMES: Look, I can pay. I have money. I can order something.

(JAMES waves to waitress)

WAITRESS: How can I help you?

HOST: You can’t.

WAITRESS: Something wrong?

JAMES: I’d like to order one of those super healthy juices… the green superfood one.

WAITRESS: Coming right up.

(WAITRESS goes and HOST is frustrated)

HOST: No, it is not coming right up. You need to leave. 

JAMES: What’s your problem?

HOST: Someone has reserved this table already.

JAMES: There’s other tables.

HOST: Not like this one.

JAMES: It does have a nice view.

HOST: The best view. That’s why I need it immediately.

JAMES: Very relaxing.

HOST: And highly desired by some of our most elite clients.

JAMES: You got someone pretty special wanting this table, eh?

HOST: Indeed... so will you please move.

JAMES: After I get my juice.

(WAITRESS comes in with a green drink. She has one hand behind her back)

WAITRESS: Here you go.

(HOST snags the drink)

HOST: No, no, no. 

(HOST exits with drink. WAITRESS reveals another drink
from behind her back and gives it to JAMES)

WAITRESS: I thought he might do that. That was a decoy. Here’s your drink.

JAMES: Thank you so much.

WAITRESS: Anything else?

JAMES: How about one of your famous cinnamon rolls?

WAITRESS: Warmed up?

JAMES: With butter.

WAITRESS: Of course.

(WAITRESS exits and HOST enters with SECURITY)

HOST: Remove the vagabond please.

(HOST does a snotty look and gesture at JAMES and goes)

SECURITY: Come on, let’s go.

JAMES: Have you ever had the cinnamon rolls here?

SECURITY: No, I’m not allowed to eat on the job.
And they don’t have an employee discount or anything.
I can’t really afford the food here.

JAMES: The cinnamon rolls are amazing.

(WAITRESS brings one out)

WAITRESS: Here you go. Nice and warm with extra butter.

JAMES: Amazing. Can you bring me another one?

WAITRESS: Sure. Coming right up.

(WAITRESS exits)

JAMES: Here, try it.

(SECURITY looks off stage nervously)

SECURITY: Um, I don’t know.

JAMES: If you try it, then I will come with you peacefully.

SECURITY: That sounds reasonable.

(JAMES gives SECURITY a fork. SECURITY sits down
and takes a bite and gets a look of delight)

SECURITY: That is amazing.

JAMES: I know!

SECURITY: It melts in your mouth.

JAMES: Incredible isn’t it? Try some more. 

SECURITY: Oh, wow. I’ve always smelled them cooking these.
I’ve always wondered how good they might be. This is better than I imagined.

JAMES: Have the rest. 

SECURITY: We better hurry.

(WAITRESS enters with box)

WAITRESS: I thought I better make this one to go.
Someone is looking a little angry back there.

JAMES: Good thinking. Thank you. Keep the change.

(JAMES gives WAITRESS a wad of money)

WAITRESS: I don’t mind getting you change. 

JAMES: No need

WAITRESS: Are you sure?

JAMES: More than sure. You all work so hard here and made
my day so much happier. I’m happy to do something in return. 

WAITRESS: I hope it’s okay if I clear this table now.

JAMES: Of course. I’ll help.

WAITRESS: You don’t have to.

JAMES: I insist.

SECURITY: I’ll help too.

(They all work together and clear the table and exit.  HOST enters looking smug and satisfied)

HOST: Much better. 

(SECURITY enters still eating cinnamon roll. Stops when he sees HOST)

SECURITY: The vagrant has been removed from the premises.

HOST: Well, done. And his contraband has been recovered. That waitress needs to be fired.

(HOST prepares table for next guest)

SECURITY: Oh, no. You don’t need to do that. The vagrant paid for everything.

HOST: I doubt it.

SECURITY: I saw it with my own eyes. He even tipped the waitress.

HOST: With counterfeit money, I’ll bet. Or stolen money. 

SECURITY: As far as I can see, no crime was committed here.
Everyone cooperated. No one needs to be punished.

HOST: Look here, you two-bit rent-a-cop. We don’t pay you to have opinions.
I know what I saw and I know I am right. 

(HOST takes cinnamon roll)

HOST: Allow me to throw this in the trash for you.


HOST: What?

SECURITY: This was a gift.

HOST (cont.): What are you talking about?

SECURITY: It was paid for and it was a gift… to me. And I like it.

(SECURITY lifts the fork slowly and defiantly, about to eat, stops,
sighs, and gives it up to HOST)

HOST: Good choice.

(HOST exits with cinnamon roll. WAITRESS enters with a box)

WAITRESS: That was brave what you did there, standing up for yourself like that)

SECURITY: Not quite. I backed down. 

WAITRESS: But you did speak up. That’s more than I can do.


WAITRESS: Here’s a little reward.

SECURITY: A cinnamon roll?

WAITRESS: I thought you might like another one.


WAITRESS: One good turn deserves another.


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short script for 4 actors

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