PHONE IT IN
scene for 4 actors
4 characters: GRETTA, REPORTER, HARVEY, DIGBY
(GRETTA is an actress entering a studio to do a voiceover for an animated movie.
She is talking to a REPORTER as she enters)
She is talking to a REPORTER as she enters)
REPORTER: Thank you for the interview.
GRETTA: I always have time for you, Gene. I am happy to speak to a reporter of your caliber.
REPORTER: Thank you, Ms. Griffin. That means a great deal coming from you.
GRETTA: I mean it. You’re the best.
REPORTER: You sure you don’t mind all these interviews we’ve been doing?
GRETTA: Of course I don’t mind. I love promoting projects that I am working on and
there’s nothing better than sharing this amazing animated feature I’m starring in.
Very few people know that Snow White had a sister named Rose Red and this film
introduces this amazing character to the world. She is fiesty, spunky and a woman
for all little girls to look up to. I don’t think the world was ready for Rose Red until now.
Finally women have reached the point where they can have a more progressive and
independent woman like Rose Red as a role model. Snow White represents another
time where women were to be seen and not heard. But Rose Red is heard. And she
has something important to say.
there’s nothing better than sharing this amazing animated feature I’m starring in.
Very few people know that Snow White had a sister named Rose Red and this film
introduces this amazing character to the world. She is fiesty, spunky and a woman
for all little girls to look up to. I don’t think the world was ready for Rose Red until now.
Finally women have reached the point where they can have a more progressive and
independent woman like Rose Red as a role model. Snow White represents another
time where women were to be seen and not heard. But Rose Red is heard. And she
has something important to say.
REPORTER: That’s great stuff. Can I quote you?
GRETTA: I would be honored.
(GRETTA sees HARVEY motioning to her from the sound booth which behind the audience)
REPORTER: Wonderful. This should be out by tomorrow.
GRETTA: Looks like they need me to get to work. The producer has been amazing
and incredibly supportive. What a pleasure to work with.
and incredibly supportive. What a pleasure to work with.
REPORTER: They’re lucky to have you.
GRETTA: I better go, kiss, kiss.
(REPORTER exits. GRETTA’s mood shifts dramatically when she hangs up the phone.
She looks at the script and throws it down)
She looks at the script and throws it down)
GRETTA: What is this? The movie trailer? Why I am doing the trailer before we even
do the movie?
do the movie?
HARVEY: Your agent didn’t tell you? I thought we had this cleared up already.
(Reads a little of the script)
GRETTA: “In a world…” Really? You’re starting with “In a world…”? How original.
HARVEY: Just read the script, Gretta.
GRETTA: Fine.
HARVEY: Ready?
GRETTA:
Yes, I’m ready. Say action or something.
HARVEY: Action.
(Reads the script)
GRETTA: “In a world of magic, a creature emerges from the depths of the earth,
threatening to destroy it. Darkness comes to the land as a mysterious dwarf roams
the forest and a prince suddenly disappears from the kingdom. But two sisters
have the power to free the land and it’s people from the clutches of this evil.
One is named Snow White and the other Rose Red.” (Looks at HARVEY)
So I’m not Snow White or Rose Red? What am I? The ugly Dwarf creature who
brings the darkness?
threatening to destroy it. Darkness comes to the land as a mysterious dwarf roams
the forest and a prince suddenly disappears from the kingdom. But two sisters
have the power to free the land and it’s people from the clutches of this evil.
One is named Snow White and the other Rose Red.” (Looks at HARVEY)
So I’m not Snow White or Rose Red? What am I? The ugly Dwarf creature who
brings the darkness?
HARVEY: Ironically, you’re an angel.
GRETTA: I’m an angel? How sweet. I think I’d rather be the dwarf. I never get
anything interesting anymore.
anything interesting anymore.
HARVEY: Take five, Gretta. I want to review that.
GRETTA: (Calls agent) I thought I was the lead in this. No, I’m some angel.
Fine, fine. Whatever. I better not be getting a pay cut too.
Fine, fine. Whatever. I better not be getting a pay cut too.
(Hangs up)
HARVEY: That should do. Let’s move on to the script now. Ready?
GRETTA: Yes, I’m ready. Action. (Reads script) “This was once a peaceful
land where human and beast lived in harmony.”
land where human and beast lived in harmony.”
HARVEY: Cut.
(Looks at HARVEY)
GRETTA: What? Not angelic enough for you?
HARVEY: Hardly.
GRETTA: Take what you can get, okay? Audiences could care less what I sound like.
They just want to see my name on the poster. They probably won’t even know
which character I am.
They just want to see my name on the poster. They probably won’t even know
which character I am.
HARVEY: Do you want to do this or not? There’s a million other actresses who would
kill for this.
kill for this.
GRETTA: Look. I didn’t ask to do this, but I need the money, and you need the star
power. I’m the most famous person in this cast. I may have only been 4 years old
when my show was a hit but I was loved all over the world. People adored me.
They named their little girls after me. (Sighs. She is fighting back angry tears)
You made me the way I am. You chewed me up and used up my cuteness until
there was nothing left but bitterness inside. (Angry) I hate all of you!
(Sighs. Calms down) And I hate myself.
power. I’m the most famous person in this cast. I may have only been 4 years old
when my show was a hit but I was loved all over the world. People adored me.
They named their little girls after me. (Sighs. She is fighting back angry tears)
You made me the way I am. You chewed me up and used up my cuteness until
there was nothing left but bitterness inside. (Angry) I hate all of you!
(Sighs. Calms down) And I hate myself.
HARVEY: Are you finished?
(GRETTA nods. Breathes deeply in and out to calm down)
GRETTA: Yes, I’m done. Let’s get this over with. I want to get out of here
before the stores close. I am in need of some serious shopping therapy after this.
before the stores close. I am in need of some serious shopping therapy after this.
HARVEY: Oh, well, in that case, we better get a move on. Action.
GRETTA: (Reads script)
“This was once a peaceful land where human and beast lived in harmony.
Nature put its trust in humanity to care for the land and take only what was needed.
Caretakers not takers. Givers as well as receivers. Finding balance.
But a new threat emerged from deep within the Earth. These dark creatures
tunneled through the ground and carved out treasures. They hunted for all that
glittered and sparkled in the darkness. These greedy creatures are known to
many as the dwarves. Once there were a few scattered groups, but now they
overrun the forest, digging holes and hoarding their treasures in caves,
tearing up the Earth and giving nothing in return. Perhaps there is another way.
If a warrior can not stop this dwarven threat, then other means must be found.
I will seek out good to fight the evil. Kindness to undo this greed.”
Nature put its trust in humanity to care for the land and take only what was needed.
Caretakers not takers. Givers as well as receivers. Finding balance.
But a new threat emerged from deep within the Earth. These dark creatures
tunneled through the ground and carved out treasures. They hunted for all that
glittered and sparkled in the darkness. These greedy creatures are known to
many as the dwarves. Once there were a few scattered groups, but now they
overrun the forest, digging holes and hoarding their treasures in caves,
tearing up the Earth and giving nothing in return. Perhaps there is another way.
If a warrior can not stop this dwarven threat, then other means must be found.
I will seek out good to fight the evil. Kindness to undo this greed.”
HARVEY: Cut. Let’s do this again, but with a little more passion and urgency.
GRETTA: No, I'm not doing it again. I nailed it. I'm not getting paid enough to
let you play director. You’ve done how many films? Two? You know how many
I've done? More than two that's for sure. And I'm like half your age.
let you play director. You’ve done how many films? Two? You know how many
I've done? More than two that's for sure. And I'm like half your age.
HARVEY: That’s it. I’m not dealing with her anymore.
GRETTA: Where's he going? Did I hurt his feelings? Poor guy. Maybe he should
have brought his big boy feelings to the studio today.
have brought his big boy feelings to the studio today.
(Phone rings)
Hello, Donna. No I'm not doing anything important. Just sitting in this back alley
recording studio getting animated. I'm nailing it. Perfect on the first take. (Annoyed)
The director called you? What did that wonderful man say to you? (Angry)
What?! He can't fire me! He needs me. This cartoon needs me. It's nothing
without my name on it! (Pause. Breathes.) Yes, I'm calm. What do you mean
this was my last chance? Last chance for what? Can we talk about this later?
They’re staring at me. Bye bye kiss kiss.
recording studio getting animated. I'm nailing it. Perfect on the first take. (Annoyed)
The director called you? What did that wonderful man say to you? (Angry)
What?! He can't fire me! He needs me. This cartoon needs me. It's nothing
without my name on it! (Pause. Breathes.) Yes, I'm calm. What do you mean
this was my last chance? Last chance for what? Can we talk about this later?
They’re staring at me. Bye bye kiss kiss.
(Smiles) So where were we?
DIGBY: I think Mr. Harvey wanted us to start again from the top.
GRETTA: No problem. I can do that again. Maybe I could try something a little different.
Maybe I could do an accent?
Maybe I could do an accent?
DIGBY: I don’t know about that.
GRETTA: Isn't this fairy tale German or something?
DIGBY: I’m not sure.
GRETTA: Let me try it with a German accent….
(Does line again with German accent. HARVEY reenters)
GRETTA (CONT.): “This was once a peaceful land where human and beast lived in harmony.”
(DIGBY and HARVEY laugh)
GRETTA (CONT.): Sure. Laugh. It was funny huh?
HARVEY: Hilarious.
GRETTA: Maybe a little more comedy is what this cartoon needs.
HARVEY: Let’s go.
(HARVEY and DIGBY exit)
GRETTA: Why is everyone leaving? We’re not done are we? I have a bunch more lines.
I’ll do them a hundred different ways if you want. Please! They're gone. I'm alone.
I’m talking to myself. Do I always talk to myself? I always assume someone is listening.
Anyone listening? Anyone? Hello? It’s just me.
I’ll do them a hundred different ways if you want. Please! They're gone. I'm alone.
I’m talking to myself. Do I always talk to myself? I always assume someone is listening.
Anyone listening? Anyone? Hello? It’s just me.
(She tries calling someone but they don’t answer. She packs up her stuff, stands,
looks at the studio, sighs and exits quietly)
looks at the studio, sighs and exits quietly)
END OF SCENE
Monologue version:
https://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2017/03/phone-it-in-monologue-for-actress-about.html
https://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2017/03/phone-it-in-monologue-for-actress-about.html
Low cost PDF of monologue version:
https://sellfy.com/p/rT36/
from
https://sellfy.com/p/rT36/
from
“Blondes Prefer Gentlemen”
ISBN-13: 978-1985331877
Book:
Low cost PDF:
