"Hey Baby Let's Polka" comedy scene for 2 actors

This scene is from a play called "A Little Private Education" about a teacher, Luke, trying to start a private school but the people helping him are turning it into a disaster.  In this scene, Luke and Peg (brother and sister) have been left alone after both being dumped by people they were thinking about dating.
















"Hey Baby Let's Polka"

by D. M. Larson




LUKE

(Come out looking like a total goof ball)  

Hey, baby.  Let's polka.

(Does a silly polka dance)




PEG

Uh, Luke.  

(Grabs him) 

Luke.




LUKE

What?




PEG

She's gone.  




LUKE

Where'd she go?




PEG

Did she see you and run?




LUKE

I don't think so.




PEG

I know I would have.  Look at you.  

(Laughs)




LUKE

Wait.  Where's Paul?




PEG

Huh?  Oh.  

(Calls out)  

Paul?  Paul?!   I’ll check the john.

(Heads for bathroom)




LUKE

Hey, here’s a note from him.




PEG:  

(Grabs it)  

Let me see that.   

(Reads) 

 "Peg.  Had to go.  Something came up.  Paul."  

(Sigh)
"Something came up." That's something you never want to hear a plumber say.


LUKE

Oh, Peg.  I'm sorry.  Now I've ruined your evening too.




PEG

You know.  I think it's for the best.   All he talked about over dinner was plumbing.  It's hard to eat when you're getting a blow by blow description of unclogging a toilet.




LUKE

Ew.




PEG

And no more Mrs. Poke.  I wonder what she'll do with your school.




LUKE

I'll give you one guess.  I guess I better start packing.




PEG

You think she'll cut you off?




LUKE

I know she will.  

(Upset)  

…and my book deal.  So much for getting my novel published.




PEG

You don't like handouts anyway.




LUKE

I don't?




PEG

No, you don't.




LUKE

Good-bye Peter Poke Academy.  Hello Peter Poke Plumbing.




PEG

Ah, to be rich enough to buy any man you want.




LUKE

You'll never be rich without a job.




PEG

Didn't you know?  I'm going to win the lottery.




LUKE

I'm glad to see you have a realistic goal for your life.




PEG

Hey, I thought you weren't going to tease me any more.




LUKE

Sorry.




PEG

I'll bet you are.




LUKE

It slipped out.




PEG

I better go before anything else slips out like my fist into your face.

  (Pretends like she’s going to hit his face and hits him in the arm)




LUKE

How come you can always hit me and I can never hit you?




PEG

Because I'm girl.  Boys don't hit girls.  




LUKE

But girls can hit boys?




PEG

Isn't it great?




LUKE

For you maybe.   That’s gonna bruise.




PEG

I guess I better get going home.




LUKE

See you in the unemployment line.




END OF PLAY

"The Perfect Redneck" comedy scene for 2 actors (1 male 1 female)

"Operation Redneck" is the story of three friends (Julie, Beth and Tina) who are roommates. Julie is dating a city boy named Jacob and he wants to visit her in the small town she lives in.  She is worried about him fitting in and Beth want to help Jacob by turning him into the ultimate redneck like Tina's boyfriend JJ.  

"THE PERFECT REDNECK"

by D. M. Larson

(from "Operation Redneck")

BETH: Now the real planning begins. Operation Redneck is close at hand. I'm going to make Jacob into the ultimate redneck so he fits in here. Julie won't even recognize him when we're done with him.

(Searches) We need lots of paper and pens. I want to write down some tips on how to be a redneck so Jacob can look at it whenever he needs to. I'm terrible at this kind of stuff though. I always need something to get ideas from. What I need is a redneck.

JJ: (Enters. Excited) Ooo-weee. I didn't know you had a bug zapper. Man, those things are so cool. (Imitates one) I could watch those suckers for hours. (Goes to sofa and turns on TV) Boy, howdy. The Rodeo Network. When did you get that?

BETH: Ask and ye shall receive. JJ put the red in neck.

JJ: Aw, man. My ma can ride a bull better than that.

BETH: I've gotta write this stuff down. The question is - do we really want Jacob to act like this? Do we really want two JJ’s in the world?

JJ: What you gabbin' about over there?

BETH: I was just sayin' how suave and debonair you are?

JJ: (Confused) What's that supposed to mean?

  

BETH: JJ will be perfect. I'll give him a quiz from one of our magazines about finding the perfect man. (Picks up a magazine) If we can get Jacob to act even a little bit like JJ, then I'm sure people around here will think he's okay. But not too much like JJ.Nobody should be too much like JJ.

He's a one of a kind.

God destroyed the mold after JJ was made.

Hey, JJ. You wanna win some money?

JJ: Duh... Who wouldn't?

BETH: There's this contest in Rodeo Gal magazine.... See, it's a contest to find the perfect man. You think you are the perfect man?

JJ: You bet. I'll win for sure. 

BETH: But you got to answer a few questions.

JJ: Naw, I don't wanna answer a bunch a sissy questions. That's stupid. Can't you just take a picture of my awesomeness. (Does a goofy mock sexy pose) See?

BETH: Oh, yeah. That will impress the judges.

JJ: They can see I'z the perfect guy just by looking at me. Like they say a picture is worth a dozen words.

BETH: In your case, I believe that's true. (Looks at magazine) But I'm afraid the rules specifically say, no pictures.

JJ: Well, then they can spificly kiss my butt.

  

BETH: First prize is a million dollars.

JJ: Well, maybe I could answer a few questions.

BETH: Let's see! First question... (Thinks of something) What's the most romantic thing you've ever done for your girlfriend?

JJ: Romantic? Uh... probably that time I spray painted her name on the General Lee Street Overpass..

BETH: Too bad he spelled her name wrong.

I mean who spells Tina with an E instead of an A.

JJ: Can we get on with this? I got things to do.

BETH: Have you ever invested anything for your future such as in the stock market?

JJ: The stock market? Yeah, I might buy us a cow or two.

BETH: Are you the kind of person who would own a personalized license plate?

JJ: Any plate I get here is personalized to me.

BETH: Why's that?

JJ: Cause my daddy's one of them guys who makes them.

BETH: Isn't your dad in prison?

JJ: Yup.

BETH: Do you own a three piece suit?

JJ: Got one on right now. Overalls, flannel shirt, and underwear.  And only sometimes on the underwear. (JJ laughs)

BETH: That's more than I wanted to know, JJ. Who is your favorite Uncle?

JJ: My brother.

BETH: What do you do when you're in trouble and need to find a way out?

JJ: I think, "What would Homer Simpson do?"

BETH: What is your favorite Olympic sport?

JJ: Mud wrestling.

BETH: That's not an Olympic sport.

JJ: Well, it should be.

BETH: Next question. What do you think of gun control?

JJ: Gun control is a steady hand.

BETH: Do you know how to use the internet?

JJ: The internet? That some kind of new fishing tool?

BETH: If you could pick the eighth wonder of the world, what would you chose?

JJ: The world’s biggest ball of twine.

BETH: Which family member do you want to be like when you get older?

JJ: My mama.

BETH: Really?

JJ: Yeah. You know how many tattoos she's got?

BETH: No, and I don't want to know.

JJ: (Stands and shows BETH. Has back to audience) This one is my favorite. Mama's got the same one.

It was expensive. I'm still paying this baby off.

BETH: Who do you admire most?

JJ: Jack Daniels. 

BETH: What do you want to name your children?

JJ: Jack and Daniel.

BETH: You have a one track mind.

JJ: I sure am getting thirsty.  I wonder if there is a bottle around here somewhere.

(JJ looks around) 

BETH: Maybe I should call someone else. No one could pretend to be this dumb.

  

JJ: We done with all them questions yet?

BETH: I don’t know… I think you’re off the chart.

JJ: Give me a real hard one. 

BETH: Fine. What is your opinion on the Roe vs. Wade decision?

JJ: (Thinks) Now I've heard people talk about that a lot and that's something I've thought lots about too. But I think I've finally settled one side of that issue. I much prefer to row across a river than wade. (BETH throws her notes in the air)What? The river's way too cold to wade across.

BETH: This is totally hopeless. 

END OF SCENE

Buy a low cost PDF of the entire play "Operation Redneck" at https://sellfy.com/p/e4LY/

"Living in the Car" short romantic comedy for 2 actors (1 male 1 female)

“LIVING IN THE CAR” by D. M. Larson

Short romantic comedy for 2 actors (1 male 1 female)

(DONNA and SHANE are going through their mail)

DONNA - Bill, Bill... 

SHANE - Credit card offer!

DONNA - And someone wanting money....

SHANE - How much will you give them? 

DONNA - What makes you think I will give them anything?

SHANE - Look how sad they are?

DONNA - Fine - I will give them some money - I'd rather give the homeless and hungry people money then pay those big corporations - I hate being a slave to bills - paycheck comes and the bills all gather anxiously for handouts - suits pounding at my door - demanding handouts - I feel like I work for them instead of us.

SHANE - What if we stopped paying them?

DONNA - Why would we do that?

SHANE - What would happen? 

DONNA - They shut off the power, the water - then they take the house. 

SHANE - Okay.

DONNA - Then they take the cars.

SHANE - They can have your car - I'm keeping mine - I like it.

DONNA - Okay, so we live in your car.

SHANE - It's a nice car - that wouldn't be so bad would it - we could cuddle in the back seat at night - and steam up the windows.

DONNA - That sounds nice. 

SHANE - So throw away the bills.

(SHANE takes the bills and tosses them. DONNA laughs)

DONNA - Hey!

SHANE - But you can still give to this charity - they could end up being our neighbors when we lose our home and I want to be a good neighbor.

DONNA - You make life so much simpler.

SHANE - I'm awesome like that - tell me more things you like about me.

DONNA - Let’s go try out the back seat of your car and I'll show you what I like.

SHANE - Oh my goonie gracious.

END OF PLAY

3 Actor Triologues - Free Stage Play Scripts

THREE ACTOR TRIOLOGUES


"Dead End Job" scene for 3 actors from Death of an Insurance Salesman

http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/10/dead-end-job-scene-for-3-actors-from.html


"The Ultimate Redneck" short comedy scene for 3 actors - 1 male 2 female
 
http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-ultimate-redneck-comedy-scene-for-3.html

"You and Me, Alone and Free" stage play script for 3 actors by D. M. Larson

http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/09/you-and-me-alone-and-free-stage-play.html


"Okay Gang Let's Split Up" comedy scene for 3 actors from Death of an Insurance Salesman

http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/10/okay-gang-lets-split-up-comedy-scene.html


"The Little Boy Who Likes Beer" short comedy scene for 3 actors

http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/11/the-little-boy-who-likes-beer-short.html


"Kryptonite Jewelry" Scene for 3 Actors from the published play Blinded by the Knight 

http://freedramaplays.blogspot.com/2015/12/kryptonite-jewelry-scene-for-3-actors.html

"Empty Space" monologue for male or female written by Shiela Larson

Here is a good monologue to show range as an actor:

                        EMPTY SPACE

                        by Shiela Larson

         (Person gasps as if they just woken up from a deep in a panic)

                              ALEX
                         (Breathing heavy) Where am I?

          (Alex looks around)

          (Alex begins to calm down after seeing some people around)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Hey, what is going on?

          (No response)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Last thing I remember is feeling
                    the worst pain in the world...

          (Alex looks around looking confused)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Wait, where am I?  This isn't the
                    hospital.

          (Alex approaches someone)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Hey can you help me?  Where am I?

          (No response)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Why isn't anyone listening?

          (Alex waves his/her hand)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Wait...  Can you even see me?

          (Alex thinks, then his/her face drops and looks shocked)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Did I die?  I don't remember
                    dying..

                    I don't feel any pain.  I don't
                    feel anything...

          (Alex sees him/herself covered under a sheet)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Hey!  Don't put me under a sheet!
                    I'm not dead!  Look at me!

          (Alex struggles to take the sheet off but can't)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Please someone...  I don't want to
                    die.

          (Starts to cry)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    I have so much more to do!  This
                    has to be a mistake!

          (Comes to a realization)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    After the accident, everyone said I
                    would be okay.  The doctor, the
                    nurses, they promised...

          (Begins getting angry)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    You filthy LIARS!  WHY DID YOU LIE
                    TO ME?

          (Alex watches them wheel him/her away)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Oh my God... I really am dead.

          (Alex sees his/her mother)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Oh mom... Don't cry.  There was
                    nothing you could have done.
                    Please, I hate to see you cry like
                    that.

          (Alex tries to console his/her mom)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    I promise I will try to watch over
                    you everyday, make sure you don't
                    do anything stupid.

          (Lets out a small chuckle)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Like when I found your curling iron
                    on right next to the drapes... lucky
                    I found it. It was gonna catch on
                    fire pretty quick.

                    To be honest I'm surprised I'm the
                    one who is dead!

          (Laughs some more, then starts to sniffle)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Mom, I'm scared.  I miss you.  I
                    don't know what to do from here on.

          (Alex starts looking frantically)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Where did you go?  Mom?  I can't
                    see anything... what is happening
                    to me?

          (Alex looks scared then a peace comes over him/her)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Oh... Are you calling me?

          (Alex starts to smile)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    You really want me?  After
                    everything I have done?  Do I
                    deserve it?

          (Looks shy and unsure)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    Could you hold my hand?

          (Alex tears up and smiles)

                              ALEX (CONT.)
                    I guess I won't be so lonely after
                    all.

          (Alex takes someone's hand and walks away)

                     END OF MONOLOGUE

For more free monologues go to http://www.freedrama.net/small1.html

Art by Shiela Larson

Tips for Becoming Successful Actor

Here are some tips for being a successful actor from a guest blogger:

Enjoy your work
 
    When you see actors on screen, you feel that it is very easy to act but the fact is that it is not so easy. You can try on your own by acting. It is even difficult to act in front of the loved ones. So, all those who are thinking of pursuing a career in the acting field, there are certain acting tips which must be followed for achieving success. The first and foremost tip is to enjoy the working environment and work as well. There are many people who love to create the tortured place and some create it a joyful place. When you are acting try to become the like the 5 year old child who is pretending the things. This tip has been used by many of the successful actors. 

    The study of theatre should be emphasized. It is the fundamental building block for any actor. Study of theatre is necessary as theatre is the place which works as the greatest training ground for the new actors. There are many of the actors who have never been to theater but still they are successful. The reason is proper training. 

Be patient
 
    The most important tip which is for all the actors is never expecting success from the very beginning. It is well said that success is better achieved after series of failures. Acting is also the field which will not gain you success immediately. It takes time to learn and to make place in hearts of the audience. So, you should not become disheartened if in case if you receive failure. Never give up and go on trying. Success won’t be able to stay away from you for long time. Make sure that you learn from your failures and not repeat the mistakes. 

Stay dedicated 
 
    Believing in yourself and your goals is necessary. In the field of acting, put faith on your director. The creativity of the director should be trusted and on the basis of this faith you can lead to success. Acting is a wide field. So, you have to decide what you love more in field of acting. The most liked thing should be done and also care should be taken to see that you achieve respect in that field. Once you start working, pay complete attention to what you are doing. You dedication and passion towards acting will be seen in your work and will also be noticed by others. 

Check out the Freedrama Online Acting School at http://www.freedrama.net/acting.html

 

Free Readers Theater Sight Words Script for Pre-K and Kindergarten and ESL

Here is a short play I wrote using the following sight word list which is aimed at first and early readers as well as new English Language learners.

The script below was written with the following Dolch Sight Words:

a, and, away, big, blue, can, come, down, find, for, funny, go, help, here, I, in, is, it, jump, little, look, make, me, my, not, one, play, red, run, said, see, the, three, to, two, up, we, where, yellow, you

"YELLOW, BLUE AND RED" 

by D. M. Larson

YELLOW

Where am I?

BLUE

I see you.

YELLOW

You go! I look.

BLUE

Find me!

YELLOW

One, two, three….

RED

Can I play?

BLUE

Run, Red, run!

YELLOW

I find you, Red.

RED

Not me.

YELLOW

I see you.

BLUE

Run away!

RED

Look up. Look down. Look away.

YELLOW

Where?

RED

Not here.

(RED runs away)

YELLOW

Funny. It is funny.

(BLUE jumps by YELLOW)

BLUE

Jump. Jump. Jump.

YELLOW

Blue is funny.

(RED jumps by YELLOW)

RED

My jump is big. Big jump, big jump, big jump.

YELLOW

Red is funny.

BLUE

My jump is little. Little jump, little jump, little jump.

YELLOW

(Sad)

I can not jump.

RED

No?

BLUE

Come on. You can jump.

YELLOW

No.

BLUE

Little jump.

RED

I help. Jump up.  See?

YELLOW

Little jump?

BLUE

Yes!

YELLOW

Jump up?

RED

Up and down.

BLUE

Big jump!

YELLOW

Jump! Jump! Jump!

BLUE

Look!

RED

Big jump!

YELLOW

You help!

RED

I help.

BLUE

We help.

RED

Yes.

ALL

Jump! Jump! Jump!

END OF SCENE

If you like this play, comment below and I will write more for other basic sight word lists.

Or find more free plays for kids at http://www.freedrama.net/child.html

Work at Home - How to start a work from home business

Why does everyone want to work at home?  For me, it's because I love my family and I love my home.

Perhaps we long for the olden days where the family all worked together at home on the farm. The family was a team.

And we hate traffic. I'm sick and tired of traffic. Road rage is getting out of hand. Now people are even shooting at each other!

The Internet gives us a chance to bring the family home again.

So how do you create a work from home business?


Key step 1 to working at home - Focus on something you love, not money.

Find a niche' - discover a passion for something and do something with that.

That's how I got started with Freedrama.net - I had a love of writing and I decided to share my scripts with people for free online.

That is a nice lead into my next tip...


Key work from home step 2 - Create a website or blog and offer something free.

Don't expect people to give you money because you say your product is good. Give them a free sample of what you're selling. And believe it or not, you can profit from free stuff. Yes, free stuff can still make you money which takes us to...


Key step 3 for working at home - Use online ads. 

I have tried a lot of online ad services. Google Adsense is #1. My second favorite is Insticator.com because it works with Adsense and has a fun interactive element with Trivia and polls built in. Inticator gives you a great way to connect to your website users.

My third choice would be Ezoic. They have a lot of options and help you with website and ad layouts. 


Key work from home step 4 - Get the word out.
 
Ads won't work if no one goes to your website. Post about your business on popular blogs, bulletin boards, Facebook, Twitter and any other social network you are familiar with. Facebook brings the most visitors for me but if you have a good command of other social networks, they are worth trying too. 

If you are focused on local customers, Craig's list and Google business could be good too.
 
Then create low cost ads with Fiverr.com for as low as $5. Fiverr is a goldmine of resources.
 

And if all that doesn't all work...start a farm :)

***

Find out more about my work at home business Freedrama.net at this link http://www.freedrama.net (don't worry, everything is free and there's no tricks or hidden promotions like some Work from Home websites).  

Feel free to ask questions below or email doug@freedrama.net with your feedback.

  

"Books and Bug Zapper" romantic comedy for 2 actors - 1 male 1 female

“BOOKS AND BUG ZAPPERS” by D. M. Larson

(PAIGE is librarian reading a romance novel. WILSON comes in and looks around. She notices him and thinks he is cute and look in a compact mirror to check herself and sees something in her teeth. She picks at it as WILSON goes up to her and tries to look in her mirror - she notices and gets embarrassed)

PAIGE
Can I help you?

WILSON
You have any books about name robbing?

PAIGE
You mean identity theft?

WILSON
Yeah. That.

PAIGE
Let me see what we have.

WILSON
What are doing?

PAIGE
I was going to look it up on the computer.

WILSON
Oh, no. Don't do that. That's how I winded up in this pickle in the first place.

PAIGE
Yes, identity theft can occur on the web. I'm sorry to hear it happened to you. Did you give some of your personal information online?

WILSON
I was getting my new hunting license and they had to enter all my info in one of them computers now and they said I was somebody else!

(PAIGE is being flirty)

PAIGE
What is your name?

WILSON
Greg Wilson.

PAIGE
Of the Wilson bug zappers?

WILSON
That's right. I invented the first FDA approved indoor bug zapper. Patent pending.

PAIGE
That was the talk of the town a few years ago - so you're like a real inventor?

WILSON
I'll let you in on a secret. I kind of done it by accident.

PAIGE
Many inventors do. Here's a book about Alfred Nobel. He created dynamite by accident. Many great discoverers were made that way.

WILSON
Aw, I ain't all that great.

PAIGE
In this town you are. You're our local celebrity. Thanks to you, we can all enjoy bug free meals.

WILSON
You make me sound all heroic and special. I like that. What's your name anyway?

PAIGE
Paige.

WILSON
Paige what?

PAIGE
It's a silly name actually. I think my parents were being funny. Paige Turner.

WILSON
Well, you could get married and change it.

PAIGE
I'd love to get married.

WILSON
Yeah me too… just waiting for the right filly to come along...

PAIGE
What do you look for in a... Filly?

WILSON
I need a brave woman. A woman ain't afraid of a wild stallion like me who won't be tamed. She needs to stand back and let me be me. And be there for me when I need something, like a pizza or a back rub.

PAIGE
I like pizza.

WILSON
What kind?

PAIGE
Green olive and bacon.

WILSON
Bacon? Sounds yummy. How about mushrooms?

PAIGE
Hate them.

WILSON
Me too.

PAIGE
You ever try Joe's pizza?

WISON
Almost every day.

PAIGE
Been there yet today?

WISON
Nope.

PAIGE
Want to uh.. Meet there later... I'll bring some info for you about identity theft.

WILSON
You really want to help me?

PAIGE
Yes.

WILSON
I guess the library ain't such a bad place after all.

PAIGE
It's the best place on earth.  It's my home away from home. Growing up it was always my refuge. I could always escape here and discover something new… something that would take me away from all my worries and troubles. I am always happiest in a library surrounded by books.

WILSON
It's nice to see someone so happy with what they're doing. I wish everyone was like that. Too many people hate what they are doing. Life’s too short not to be happy. And today, pizza is going to make me happy. Pizza and you.

PAIGE
And me?

WILSON
And you. See you later alligator.

PAIGE
In a while crocodile.

(Wilson leaves)

Paige
I have a date!

(Shushing sounds and she hides behind her romance novel giggling)

END OF PLAY

***

For permission to use this play, please contact doug@freedrama.net (include the title "Books and Bug Zappers" in your request).

For more free play scripts for 2 actors, go to http://www.freedrama.net/small2.html